WordLab

Number Three

2010-02-07T19:46:00.003-08:00

This is she. The third in a line of Subaru Outbacks that have hauled my snowboards, surfboards, skateboards, paddleboards and friends to many adventures and back. She is black-on-black and I'm never going back. (Well, maybe I'd eventually go back to another exterior color, but I'm now sold on black leather interior.) Number Three looks like most other Outbacks on the road, but is hiding a 250hp Boxer Turbo under the hood that creates acceleration I've also grown fond of. It took me less than three hours of owning her to get pulled over, but New Kar Karma was on my side and Mr. Nice Officer let me slide with a warning, not a ticket. Thanks officer. I promise to keep it real. Almost all of the time.

Number Two and Number One

2010-01-16T18:15:00.000-08:00

This is the one—although this is Number Two. This is the '98 Subaru Outback that convinced me that Outbacks are the greatest cars ever made for the modern action sports hero or heroine. Got snowboards, surfboards, paddleboards, skateboards, or bikes (but please, no stupid hybrid toys) you need to haul up the hill or down to the sea? This is your steed. One hundred and seventy three thousand miles, and still running strong. OK, there's an issue with the thermostat this week, but that's a minor detail. Minor. This sweet baby saw it all and handled it all, and is still ready for more. (And she's for sale, inquire within.) I named her Number Two because...

There was one before her, a Sub Wagon, before they were called Outbacks, and that one was gnarly... a vicious little red menace that never needed oil (until the day she died from lack of oil) and tore it up in the snow and got purposefully slammed into snowbanks and she just kept running and running. I can't remember how many miles Number One had; it was a lot. I bought her for eight hundred bucks, sold her for eight hundred. Three plus years of service without so much as a legit wash with soap or a fresh quart of oil. I was mean to her but I loved her and I learned my lesson. Things were different with Number Two. I'm not even sure I can sell her. Make an offer. She and I will discuss it.

Yep, Bono knows

2010-01-08T10:38:00.000-08:00

As my friend Magoo @ Crown Lounge points out, U2 frontman Bono is good for more than just belting out angst-fueled anthems that have made youth pump their fists for more than 25 years. In this piece for the NY Times—yeah, he can write, too—he supports my position that Apple belongs in the auto-making business (see previous post).

Sign(s) of the times

2010-01-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today Apple boasted that the iTunes store sold its three billionth app for the iPhone/iPod, a device so revolutionary that, well... three billion individual user apps have been purchased for it; a device so culturally impacted that I wasn't even surprised when I saw a nun using one.

In other news, Chrysler announced that their auto sales are at a four decade low. Not since JFK was in office have they sold less than a million cars a year. I suspect this might have something to do with consistently making cars that only appeal to the Dick Cheney’s of the world; unstylish, sloth-like behemoths that poison the Earth and smell bad and look terrible. (Wait. Cheney? Or Chrysler? Yeah, both.)

Now then—thinking forward—if only Apple would make a car. Sound silly? Think again. Apple is chillin' in the same Silicon Valley hood as electric car upstart Tesla Motors, makers of the exceptionally fast, sleek and 100% electric Tesla Roadster. As digital devices continue to permeate our world, as cars grow increasingly dependent on a computer 'brain' and as we search for cleaner, greener technology in nearly everything, it only makes sense.

Think they aren’t talking about it? I’d wager they are.

Congratulations on all your "support"

2009-11-25T08:45:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me recently—via facebook—"isn't picking on Sarah Palin getting a little old?" Technically, the answer is yes, it is getting old. But so is having to hear her, look at her, and consider the prospect, however remote, that she might weasel her way back into the American political machine. And with her recent book release, she continues to assert that she is somehow relevant, and so I'm compelled to continue to insist that, NO, she is not. But yeah, lets move on from Sarah and instead—here comes a fun diversion—lets pick on her supporters.

And actually, we're not really picking on them. At a recent book signing at a Borders in Columbus, Ohio, they are pretty much just embarrassing themselves. We're just going to witness the witlessness. Disclaimer: this video is about 8 minutes long, and it is painful to watch. If you just can't give up a few minutes to marvel at these comments, I've covered a few highlights for you below. Um... enjoy?

"She's like... a rock star..."

"Fairness, realness... I can't think of policies right off the bat."

(when asked what policies she would like to see Palin bring to office)

"The state that she did govern was right across the street from Russia..."

"We do need to have profiling. We're Americans. We're first, other people are last."

(incoherent babbling)

Crying shame

2009-11-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

What am I going to write that isn't already said by the photo?

Random: Rock

2009-10-30T10:08:00.000-07:00

By 1978, Saturday Night Live was starting to hit a nice stride in terms of it’s hosts, edgy comedy and musical guests. With staple acts like Bonnie Rait, Billy Joel and the Rolling Stones, ratings were good and no big risks were being taken. That changed on October 14th when DEVO took the stage in studio 8H. Nobody expected a gang of nerds outfitted in yellow vinyl jumpsuits and 3D glasses. Certainly nobody guessed that they would jerk and twitch their way through a brilliant—albeit unusual—new wave cover of the Stone’s (Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. I distinctly remember trying to process and categorize the mesmerizing performance with my adolescent grasp of pop music... and coming up blank. But I knew I liked it. Push play >>

Run Sal Run!

2009-10-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

My friend and ESPN/X-Games personality Sal Masakela is doing a big and good thing by running in the NYC marathon on November 1st—raising money for his charity Stoked, which helps at risk youth through action sports and focused mentoring. Sal is a great guy with a ton of positive energy and I can almost see the smiles this will put on the faces of a lot of kids. It's easy to make a donation... click here.

Sal has the hard part. His goal: one hundred thousand dollars. Your contribution: as little as five bucks, or as much as you want. There's a convenient PayPal link and if you already have a PP account, you're only two clicks away from being a hero. As we enter the dual season of giving thanks and giving gifts, this is a great way to put you in the mood. Do it for the kids!

Sun sets on '09 race season

2009-10-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

One last trip around Carmel Bay with Jones on Sunday afternoon, and now the boards are bagged and tarped just in time for the first big rain of winter, scheduled for... tonight. Paddleboard season is OVER. It was a great race season, best ever. The highlights...

~ The Jay Moriarity Race in Santa Cruz, 12 miles, always a good scene with the SC bros

~ The 1st Annual Dolphin Race in Carmel, 9 miles... and now we have our own race scene

~ Crossing the Carmel Bay Marine Canyon with the boys and champ Kanesa Duncan

~ Paddling out to Point Lobos with whales and orcas in view

~ The Fall Classic, my first 22 miler, AND breaking it in under 5 hours... barely

Couldn't have done it without Mike Jones, best training partner ever. And couldn't have done it without Marie Muscolino, best support team/girlfriend ever.

Going AWAY

2009-10-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

You heard the media buzz; you heard the banter in the office or perhaps on the train to work, but did you really think it would come to fruition? Yeah, me neither. But like any completely forgettable low budget horror film, it will... much sooner than anyone thought, on November 17th, to be exact. Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue (more on that ridiculous title later) is getting fast-tracked for pre-Christmas release, apparently because her publishers woke up and realized that her pond of quickly evaporating relevance will be completely Death Valley bone dry by spring of 2010, the original release window. Oh, and also because it turns out that it didn't take nearly as long for her to "write" the 4oo+ pages as everyone thought it would. Of course, she had a ghost writer, and she quit her job, and doesn't really spend any time with her kids, so—lucky day—it was actually a breeze! You betcha!

Yep, fire up the presses and get the first (and likely, only) 1.5 million copies on the shelves, while Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace still have jobs and can drive sales for her. "What? The title sucks? We know the title sucks! But there's no time, I tell you, NO TIME to think of a better one. Print it now! NOW!" you can imagine her publisher and agent screaming in unison.

The word 'rogue' has no positive connotations, anywhere, and this is most obvious in the dictionary; 1. dishonest or unprincipled; 2. savage or destructive tendencies; 3. inferior or defective specimen. When used to describe waves at sea, the word rogue is an obvious and ominous negative. Only in the crippled and gasping GOP, where a babbling redneck cheerleader somehow becomes a political ripple, does the word rogue seem to hold some invisible promise. Oh sure, these 1.5 million copies will be purchased, no question; they will be purchased by the 1.5 million Americans who are under the impression that Palin has anything worthwhile to say, and they will all likely be autographed by Sarah herself, since she has absolutely nothing else to do or anywhere to go. And by springtime of next year, when all the overprint copies are in the get-the-hell-out-now $1.99 bin at the bookstore, Sarah will have finally GONE AWAY.

What... no flames?

2009-09-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

With snowboard season just around the corner, I took a quick peek at some closeout websites where you can often score decent brand name gear for dimes on the dollar. I don't get to ride enough anymore to justify paying MSRPs for an annual outfitting and new quiver of boards—sadly, those days are over. But if I save a few bucks on boots, jacket and goggles, then I'll feel better about dropping real money on a new board.

Unless, of course, the boots are THESE hideous slush kickers...

I don't care what they cost—$82, instead of MSRP $200—I mean, come on... neon pink and blue with CAMO?! Why not just put some red flames on there as well, and maybe some reflective piping, so everyone can see your atrocious fashion sense at night?

These, apparently, were Jeremy Jones' idea. I know he's a freestyle icon and all that, but that doesn't mean he should get to shove around Burton's well paid product designers. It should be somebody's job to say "Um, no Jeremy, bro, those are UGG-LEE, and will undoubtedly end up—like like a Sarah Palin book—on a closeout website for an embarrassingly low price, sorry." Shouldn't it? Yes, it should. And that goes for his pro model boards too, which are also too stupid looking to purchase. Ever. At any price.

Every Boy

2009-09-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

Maybe you like Jack Johnson. Maybe you like Donovan Frankenreiter. Maybe you don't, because the mellow/acoustic soulful surfer sound—while very enjoyable—is a little overplayed on the radio, or because it all just starts to sound a little too similar. That's okay... here is a solution.

Every Boy rubs a pleasant West Coast vibe with a little East Coast grit for a fresh, unique sound that makes you (me) smile. New York singer/songwriter Bruce Nathan pulled in some very talented musicians—from bands you've heard of—to back him on his freshman effort, and it's a polished affair full of good sounds and thoughtful words. It just released on iTunes today, and I recommend you get your iPod a little present. If you need to sample a few tracks first, click here. Enjoy.

Random observations

2009-09-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

... about NYC, US Open, tennis & transportation.

~ The US Open is an amazing, high quality pro sports experience... as long as you're not too pinched by $7 hot dogs and the surly people that make and sell them.

~ When you can get a stadium packed with 23,000 tennis fans, PLUS Jack Nicholson, Lorne Michaels, Will Farrel, Gwen Stefani, Paul Simon, Bill Clinton and Stanley Tucci, something good is going on.

~ New York City is a tennis city and New Yorkers love tennis, and so the energy is high. The US Open belongs in New York.

~ (Some) NYC cab drivers are straight-up crazy, and won't hesitate to put your life in danger. And they still expect a tip.

~ NYC is a town that understands subways and public transportation. Bay Area/BART: take notes, get a clue... DO SOMETHING, you're an embarrassment to the paradigm of rail transit.

~ NYC is a town that understands cuisine. Just as easily as—and probably better than—dropping a fortune in the best French bistros in town, you can walk into a random pasta joint in Little Italy and ask for 2 Peronis and a plate of grilled anchovies that aren't on the menu. They don't even think about it: the answer is YES. (That was Holden's idea... brilliant.)

~ Virgin America is the newest cool/coolest new airline, and ordering drinks at will from the digital touch-screen on the seat-back is a feature I like. But don't expect the high speed internet to be fast.

~ Live, professional tennis is thing of great beauty, intensity, motion and emotion.

~ Six-foot-nine John Isner is a giant AND a giant killer. With towering serves and a cool head, he took down Andy Rodddick and cemented his status as the up-and-coming men's young gun.

~ Melanie Oudin may have been dismissed in the quarterfinals, but her run through the Open was the most exciting thing in women's tennis in a decade. And yes, I mean more exciting that Kim Clijster's return and surprise win, and certainly more interesting than a Sarena Williams meltdown. Melanie Oudin is the FUTURE of women's tennis in the US.

~ Roger Federer is unbeatable. His general perfect-ness and The Miracle Shot against Novak Djokovic in the semifinal proves that his game is more complex, developed and polished than any player in history.

~ Roger Feberer CAN be beaten, as proven by Juan Martin del Potro, who showed us that the impossible is possible by winning the five-set mens final and claiming his first Grand Slam title. Expect more.

A STAR IS BORN

2009-09-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

Not since 17 year old Venus Williams stormed into the '99 US Open

and fought her way to her first Grand Slam final has women's tennis

seen a supernova like Melanie Oudin ('oo-DAN') illuminate the sky

above The US Open in Flushing Meadows, New York.

Her electrifying Round 4 victory today is merely the latest in a series

of dismissals of top Russian women. In order, she beat up on world

#4 Elena Dementieva, Maria Sharapova (#29) and today #13 Nadia

Petrova. In all of those matches, she lost the first set, only to come

back stronger and tougher to take the remaining two. And in all of

those matches, her competitors stumbled off the court, burnt out and

baffled at how their game fell apart.

Does she have the fuel and fire it takes to fight through the quarters and semis to reach the final?

BELIEVE IT.

The custom-made Adidas sneaks that Oudin wears say 'believe' on the heel.

FALL

2009-08-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

There are two ways to know that Fall—which is actually our summer—has arrived on the Monterey Peninsula. First, and most important, cool grey skies and fog have been replaced by morning sunshine and a warm, off-shore breeze. Double down on that with some weekend West swell and the promise of high quality surf, and voila! ... summertime blues are dead and buried.

And second—which is actually fifth—the Monterey Bay Aquarium has put another Great White shark on display. As of this morning, No. 5 is cruising the million gallon Outer Bay exhibit, and you might be able to catch a glimpse of her here.

The first white shark ever displayed in captivity made her public appearance at the MBAQ in August of '04 and, with the exception of '05, each year since has seen a new one, always in August.

Wait... actually, there's one more way to know that Fall has arrived. Today is Jackie Sanders birthday. HBD Jackie!

BLUE

2009-08-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Where else but Lake Tahoe can you find this shade of blue? That's right... nowhere.

Wish you were here?

2009-08-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, me neither. And so, with Category 2 Hurricane Bill—soon to be Cat. 3, probably today—bearing down on the Caribbean, Marie and I opted out of our tropical vacation plans and successfully avoided 111 mph winds and whatever they are throwing around the skies near St. Martin.... which is almost directly in the path that spinning monster.

The Dolphin Race

2009-08-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Racers ready... heading out...

Last Sunday's Dolphin Race—the first of its kind in Carmel—went off about as smoothly as could be expected. Considering that the event organizers (Brian Mullen, Mike Jones, Brent Allen, myself and a few others) threw the whole thing together in only six weeks, and that the sunny/clear conditions we hoped for were replaced by fog, low visibility and unruly swell out in the open ocean, it's slightly amazing that nothing went seriously wrong. Looks like a good time was had by all, and we expect next year's event to double in size. Congratulations to all who raced and huge thanks to everyone who helped.

Jarrett Winter, 1st Unlimited Class, and 1st Overall

Brian Spear, 1st Stock Class

Joe Beek, 2nd Stock Class

Brian Mullen, 1st 14' Class

Mike Jones, 2nd 14' Class

Noelle Mosolf, 1st Womens Class (2 Mile Race)

Josh Pederson, 2nd Unlimited Class

Me, el Mikexican, yo... 3rd Unlimited Class

Tired and stoked.

In my backyard

2009-08-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, August 9th, I will finally be racing the paddleboard at my own beach, in my own backyard. Well, in the Ocean, technically, but you know... it's my piece of Ocean. Instead of getting up pre-dawn and driving an hour or more, while the coffee attempts to kill the butterflies in my gut, I'll simply roll out of bed and roll down the road, through Pebble to Carmel. I'm looking forward to getting to the beach early, checking out the conditions, checking out the state of the kelp beds and plotting my course for maximum efficiency from a variety of elevated vantage points—the home course advantage. The gun goes off at 8am.

Further evidence...

2009-07-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

... that Sayulita—despite being known as a mushy beginner's surf break—is home to some of the best damn surfers in all of Mexico. The September issue is on stands now, and sports homey Diego Cadena on the cover, getting SHACKED at a very sexy looking right hander. The bar at El Tigre is going off tonight.

Heaven and Hell

2009-07-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I bother to drive, semi regularly, all the way up to Lake Tahoe with the paddleboard is the promise of beautiful blue miles of sheet glass. Combined with a warm, sunny day, the often-perfect conditions make paddling on that lake a heavenly experience. But it's not a given.

On Sunday, the 2nd Annual 'Jam to the Dam' paddleboard race brought another opportunity to paddle in heaven, but Wind—the evil one—had other ideas. Thirty mph headwinds and whitecaps make paddling a sort of hell. It was worse on the SUPers, but overall, a lot of the racers struggled with the unruly conditions. And I'm not sure how to feel about this, but I think I found out that I do pretty well in Hell.

80 racers

66 finishers

30 mph headwinds

Multiple Coast guard rescues

I took 8th overall and 3rd in the men's unlimited division.

Gifts from strangers

2009-07-01T14:20:00.001-07:00

Your mom told you not to accept them, and that advice is even more relevant today. But once you're an adult, anything goes, right? Well, maybe.

I've been listening to Radio Paradise on iTunes Radio for a few years now and it's a really good, eclectic (hate that overused word) mix of fun stuff. I kept hearing a song by Seconds Flat called 'Dance On My Grave' and I liked it more and more each time. But it's not available anywhere; not on iTunes, not in music stores, and not even on unnamed p2p databases. I posted a comment on RP's website that I wanted to find it.

Fast forward 6 months (and several emails) and here it is in my po box, a 9 song CD including 'Dance On My Grave'. Some random cool person in South Carolina—who knows some of the band members—tracked down a copy for me and just mailed it. For free. Thanks to Ed Price of Greenville, SC. Thanks to music lovers everywhere. Thanks Universe.

Jay Race kicks my butt

2009-06-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Lack of proper training? Check.

Fondness of beer and other adult beverages? Check.

Questionable diet, 20 pounds overweight? Check, check.

Ok then, how about a 12 mile paddleboard race against a pack of fit surfer/athletes? Okay.

Such are my circumstances... but I'd completed the 'Jay' twice before and despite my mediocre result on Saturday—49th of about 90 competitors—I'm always stoked to cross the finish line, feel exhausted, and ache all over. The Surftech Jay Moriarity Memorial is not just a race; it's a celebration of an amazing young waterman who left the lineup too soon, but left behind a legacy of enthusiasm, fitness, and stoke. He charged Mavericks as a 16 year old and survived horrendous wipeouts. He paddled from Santa Cruz to Monterey, 26 long miles over deep, deep water. And he inspired everyone who knew him by being in the ocean all the time, and being stoked all the time. The mantra of the race is an inspiration to all of us who love the Ocean: Live Like Jay.

The Jay Race, the Jay LIFE

2009-06-08T10:45:00.001-07:00

Jay Moriarity was a gifted young Santa Cruz surfer and waterman on his way to legend status in his early twenties, when he tragically passed away in a diving accident. This Saturday is the 8th annual 'Jay Race' ... a 12 mile paddleboard race that honors Jay, and draws competitors from as far away as Australia.

For me—and for many of the racers, I suspect—it's not about winning, but rather it's about remembering Jay (if you were lucky enough to know him) or about embracing the Jay spirit. That is... sharing the stoke, sharing some waves, and above all, loving being in the Ocean. The spectating is not great, but the scene is good overall. From New Brighton Beach you get to see the start of the race (8:30am) and a little under two hours later see the fastest paddlers return to the same beach. And about 40 minutes after that, I hope to be crossing the line. I also hope there will be cold Pacificos.

The Wagon

2009-05-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

Last night at around 9:30 I drank my last frosty margarita in celebration of another season in Mexico completed. And as of today, I am officially on the wagon until around 10:45am on June 13th, when I hope to be crossing the finish line at the annual Jay Moriarity Paddleboard Race in Santa Cruz. The Jay is not too punishing, but is not exactly pleasant either. It's 12 miles of mostly glassy water, but often comes with side orders of thick fog, thick kelp, and thick marine life. I have done virtually no training, but I've got 2 weeks and a brand new 19' board to pull it together. That is going to be one delicious, ice cold Pacifico. I can almost taste it.

Round, green and perfect

2009-05-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

I had a dream where I was trying to convince someone of the great value of something by declaring that it was "round, green and perfect." I was certain of these attributes, but I can't remember what it was. Here are some possibilities...

Open for business

2009-05-15T12:19:00.001-07:00

Like the open face of a clean, green chest high wave waiting for a customer to come racing down the line, Mexico too, is open for business and hopes you will stop by. H1N1 virus? It's pretty much over, but not forgotten. The effects—both positive and negative—of mainstream media linger. Lets focus on the positive.

In my little corner of Mexico, the normally crowded beach and lively town is PDQ... pretty damn quiet. It's a very pleasant change to paddle out to small, clean waves and wonder where the crowd went—instead of how to Jedi-mind-trick it, or slalom through it. Restaurants are open and getting the best table with a view of the surf break or town square is a given. Flights? Empty and cheap. Beer? Cold, as usual.

You still reading?

Don't see any swines

2009-05-01T10:08:00.000-07:00

For those that emailed me (that I have not responded to... sorry, hectic week) YES, I am now home from Mexico, and NO, I do not have swine flu. Thank you for your concern.

With a safari underway and 14 guests and staff to look after, the news of the spreading virus was of great interest, naturally. We were only five hours away from ground zero in Mexico City. I gathered information daily from a broad variety of sources, including the CDC, the WHO, and the State Department (valuable links for travel, by the way, bookmark 'em). I looked at enough different media outlets to quickly see there were two almost opposite stories going on. You get the troublesome twins of Panic and Fear from Fox and CNN. And you get simple facts and smart recommendations from doctors and experts at the organizations above. I can assure you that there was far more paranoia here at home than where I was in Mexico.

We updated our guests each day and let them know what we were prepared to do on behalf of their safety, which included getting everyone to the airport and rebooking flights. Not one was interested in leaving a minute early. We provided anti-bacterial soap, alcohol (rubbing, not drinking) and face masks, and reiterated the best recommendations of the experts... avoid crowded/enclosed spaces, avoid contact, wash hands frequently, etc.

We saw plenty of precautions being taken; people wearing masks, cleaning everything with alcohol, and we heard of restaurants and public places being closed in Puerto Vallarta. In the end, all guests and staff left on their scheduled departures and went home with nice memories of surfing and sun and cervezas.

When I arrived at the airport yesterday afternoon everything was orderly and calm. Before you could check in for your flight, you simply had to fill out a short form, stand in a short line, and have a doctor scan your forehead to take your temperature. They stamped your form and off you went to check in. Since airports are crowded and since planes recirculate air, lots of travelers were wearing masks (including me). Better safe than swine.

Prediction: the swine flu scare of '09 will be almost entirely forgotten a week from now, and America can refocus on Britney Spears' current/next meltdown.

El Mikexican recommends...

2009-04-19T10:27:00.001-07:00

See this bottle? This is a bottle of happiness. It is an elegant, curvaceous bottle, wonderfully decorated, and completely unique. And inside, more wonderfulness. Inside you find Clase Azul Reposado, and for my money, this is as good as tequila gets. It is a little bit spicy, and warm and buttery—and therefore, exceptionally smooth. If you already like tequila, you will love this tequila. And if you are tequila shy, this tequila will talk you out if it.

This tequila is not inexpensive. But they make a little two-shot bottle, so you can take a test drive before you commit to a larger one.

Here is my method and my suggestion to you, if you care to try it. Set aside your to-do list. Park yourself somewhere pleasant, maybe with a book, magazine, or an iPod. (If you can find a hammock on a warm day, that's the best.) Now, SIP a shot of this tequila, slowly. (I nurse one for about 20 minutes.) Drink some cool water while you're at it. I follow that with an ice cold Pacifico—not because you need to chase the shot, but simply because it's a really nice combo. You don't need lime and salt, either. A slice of orange is far more appropriate.

Then, take a nap. Bueños sueños.

I am young again

2009-04-08T11:05:00.000-07:00

Just as I was feeling my age last week (a bout brought on by a photo of my 8 year old godson shredding up some powder in Tahoe—see post below) I found my inner kid again, on a beautiful, sunny day with high quality waves at Carmel Beach. Two very quick seconds in the tube, then shot out onto the shoulder, the Ocean delivered me from my self pity. I am reborn. (Too many 'birth' metaphors? Sorry.) No lower back pain this week, either... woohoo!

I am old

2009-04-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Despite my dedication to the action sports lifestyle and a strong desire to somehow outsmart the aging process, apparently, I am indeed getting older. Recent evidence includes a few more greys in my sideburns, rapidly deteriorating eyesight, and the occasionally stiff lower back. I should be doing yoga or something to stay loose, but I'm slow to make changes. Well, those days are over. Nothing—and I mean nothing—that has happened to me in the past few years has made me feel older faster than getting this photo of my 8 year old godson, ripping pow at Northstar. I am stoked for him... he's a future action sports hero, no doubt. But very soon, he will be blasting past me going full speed through the trees, and when I'm already off the hill by 2pm, he'll be hiking the pipe. Like I used to. (sigh)

Attn: bros

2009-03-25T13:22:00.001-07:00

Hey bro,

If you've ever tried to find something actions sports-specific on craigslist or ebay—say, a used snowboard—you may have found all the posts you have to sift through that are NOT used snowboards a little frustrating. Like that guy who is selling a paid of used Ray Bans from the 80s but puts the word 'snowboard' in the title, because that's what he used them for 26 years ago, when he was a bro. Lame.

Well, some bros have created a solution for you, bro. Broslist.com is modeled after craigslist, but is skate/surf/snow/bro specific. Bro, you can buy gear, sell gear, list services, list events, find a travel partner or deal, and even hook up with a chick. Or a bro. Your call.

The site is brand new (beta, in fact) so there's not many postings yet. Now might be a good time to post something to sell, bro, and help them get some traffic flowing and bro-ing. Good luck. Bro.

Legendary

2009-03-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Dave Seoane, life sentence

What do you get when you combine 80s era neon snow gear, vintage snowboards with sketchy bindings, a shovel-made jump ditch, and a handful of early snowboarding's most colorful characters? You get the 5th annual 'Legends of Snowboarding' event at Donner Ski Ranch, and you get a live snow show that is half hall-of-fame ceremony, half comedy skit and half halfpipe event. (Yes, I was never good at math.)

On Saturday March 14th, the gang converged again on The Ranch and engaged in a friendly freestyle battle, with the sum of the entry fees—$520—on the line for the winners. Men's winners were Mike Basich (1), Chris Roach (2) and Jason Borgstede (3) and Tina Basich rocked the women, making it a Basich sweep. Other legends in attendance included Dave Seoane, Dave Alden, Bob Klien, Terry Kidwell, Edgar 'Pineapple' Rivera, Tom Burt, Joel Gomez, three dudes from Italy, Jeff Grell and Jeff Brushie, among others. For proper coverage and tons of cool photos, check boardistan.com.

Tom Burt, still charging

MC Pineapple raps with Norm

Spring cleaning

2009-03-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

Not a lot of people would understand this, and sometimes I'm not sure I understand it myself, but my collection of vintage snowboarding media is kind of, um... massive. Imagine bins stacked upon bins full of magazines—pretty much ALL of them—videos (VHS of course), catalogs, posters, stickers. (There's a Public Storage space full of actual boards too, but that's another post.) It's a mountain of stuff and lately I've been going through some of it, sorting, scanning, and assembling it into what will eventually be a website. And this project is both enjoyable and tedious.

Now imagine that Chris Sanders (Avalanche Snowboards founder, friend and employer) tells me he's got a bunch of bins too, and would I like to, you know, sift through it all with him and sort it and oh my god, are you fricken kidding me!? Bust those bins out and I'll go get some beer and HELL YEAH look at all this ridiculous neon and giant laid-out backflips! Oh man, did snowboarding really look like that? Yep, it did.

Times are tight

2009-03-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

If you're like me, your wardrobe consists mainly of casual clothes from the action sports zone and some technical pieces from Patagonia and The North Face. And if you're like me, you always wonder why surf trunks should cost a blazing $55 and cool shoes cost $75 (or much more) and sunglasses cost a small ransom and you wonder all this while you're at the counter parting with a handful of twenties.

Fortunately, all those youth brands (Quik, 'Bong, Spy, etc) do a terrible job of forecasting their unit sales and make way too many of everything and it all has to go somewhere to be sold, eventually. Somewhere is sometimes this little gang of websites.... brociety / whiskey militia / steep & cheap ...where products are spotlighted regularly throughout the day, every day. The website names are dumb, the prices are smart—sometimes through the floor. I have found that it's worth the occasional look to see if those $45 flip flops are on sale for $17. They often feature hardgoods and women's gear, too. (Marie gets all the credit—and taken out to dinner—for turning me onto these sites.)

Got original idea?

2009-02-27T15:57:00.000-08:00

Good: Craft an award winning advertising campaign from two words so concise yet powerful and effective that people will still wear it on t-shirts and other consumer goods 15 years after it's inception—people who don't even necessarily use the product (milk).

Bad: Everybody knocks off your campaign for all eternity, to sell everything from beer to PETA memberships to plumbing services. And there's no end in sight. Got originality? Apparently not.

15 minutes of internet fame

2009-02-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite websites—the ocean endurance community hub paddleboard.com—just lost most of it's credibility by featuring some kook as it's featured 'paddler of the week'. Has it really come to this? I guess it has. Everybody can switch to SUPs now.

I got your top ten right here

2009-02-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Forbes—the magazine dedicated to making sure we all know exactly how little we have compared to Wall Street slugs and ridiculously overpaid bank CEOs—has just released it's annual Ten Most Miserable Cities in the US report. Wow. Thanks. This list is so very important, so relevant and just in time for suicide season! Just in case anyone living in Stockton(#1) or Modesto CA, or Flint MI, or Cleveland OH was out on the ledge of a tall, ugly, condemned building (but not a skyscraper, because those cities aren't cool enough to have glamourous skyscrapers) wondering whether to jump and forever escape the intolerable pain of their floundering 401Ks and upside down mortgages and bratty kids, well... Forbes is whispering in your ear "do it." Because your town sucks. Look, here's all the reasons why it sucks so much. Jump!

So, Stockton had no problem securing the #1 spot... the official Worst Place in America. The best place, apparently, to lose your job, to lose your house, to start drinking heavily, to kick your neighbor's dog when he's not looking. Hey, I get it. I lived there for about 20 years, and I complained about it. And I moved away. And I'm not going back. But does anyone really need Forbes to tazer them when they're already down? Do the uber-wealthy really need printed assurance that every person in the combined populations of those ten cities is jealous of them, their private jet, their posh country club, and their vacation home(s) on the manicured fringe of Heaven? No.

So, how about this? How about MY list... my list of the Ten Things I Enjoyed Most About Growing Up In Stockton; a celebration of the simple things that might (probably) matter the most.

1. You could ride your bike all over town.

2. There were about 27 places to go swimming; neighborhood pools, back yard pools, The Delta, relatively clean lakes and trout-producing rivers. We swam every day.

3. We played golf every Sunday.

4. Genova Bakery, my grandfather's bakery... a historic landmark, producer of the best simple French bread in Northern California.

5. My grandmother, producer of the best Italian food in my world. To this day, the best.

6. Mom taking me to hang out with my dad at the fire station.

7. My first girlfriend, Susan.

8. My best friend, Tom.

9. Fresh produce.

10. Good Mexican food.

11. Some really decent Mexicans.

There, that's eleven. Top ten THIS, Forbes bitches.

Beneath the Monterey Bay Part 3: Wired Science

2009-02-09T14:50:00.000-08:00

Who knows what bizarre things are going on at 3000 feet below sea level? Well, have a look. The Monterey Bay Aquarium and associates scored another first recently by installing the world's first deep sea webcam—via robotic submarine—on the floor of the Monterey Bay. This article and video from Wired document the installation procedure. Also, I always enjoy checking out the live Outer Bay cam at MBAQ. See that big disc of a prehistoric-looking fish cruise past? It's a Pacific Sunfish. Weird and beautiful.

How to cure an earache in the digital age

2009-02-07T23:40:00.001-08:00

It's a Saturday night in February 2009 in a little party town in Mexico, and a nagging earache is keeping me from heading out with my co-workers. So I'm entertaining myself by cruising iTunes, when I come across vintage episodes of Saturday Night Live. I picked one randomly and downloaded. They're only a $1.99 and it's worth that much just to see John Belushi crunch his eyebrows.

In 1979 SNL had become the coolest show on late-night tv—and maybe all of television—with the one-two punch of the 'Not Ready For Prime Time Players' and cutting edge music acts. On Feb. 10th—almost exactly 30 years ago—the Talking Heads took the stage at 30 Rockefeller and did Take Me To The River. And I remember watching it when I was a kid and thinking "that dude has a weird voice" but liked it anyway. (And voila, my earache is gone.)

Beneath the Monterey Bay: Part 2

2009-02-06T23:23:00.000-08:00

Another short underwater video, cruising the kelp bed off Cypress Point/Pebble Beach, shot the same day as Part 1. BUT, this one is in high-res on Vimeo. I'm amazed at the clarity and quality of these little clips made with very portable, user friendly electronics. Not impressed with my little experiment? Stay tuned for Part 3 to see what the real sea-nerds have been up to. Oh just wait and see.

Does this look fast?

2009-02-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

After 5 years and 500 miles (more or less) on my purchased-used teal green Craig Richmond paddleboard, I'm pulling the trigger on a sleek, new, custom made board. The size (18'10"), specs and features are already chosen. But now, the important question: what color(s) should it be? It's going to have a carbon fiber bottom, and I'm leaning toward dual grey and white pinstripes, going up to an orange deck. But lime and cyan made the final three. I think this scheme looks fast, and kinda progressive. Click the 'comment' link below to cast your vote.

Beneath the Monterey Bay: Part 1

2009-02-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

In addition to high quality surf, expansive views and expensive golf, the Monterey Bay Marine Sanctuary is famous for it's stunning coastline and abundance of marine life. January gave us a solid week of pumping waves and perfect, fall-like weather. The swell eventually faded, but the weather remained, so I took the paddleboard out of winter storage and spent Saturday morning cruising Cypress Point with Mike Jones. The underwater visibility was incredible and I had my Powershot in a water housing. Click play to dive.

Brrrraaaaaaappppp!!

2009-02-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

Not all weekend was underwater scenery and serenity. Just to keep things in balance, I met up with Magoo & Crew, Andy and Holden on Saturday night for the San Francisco Supercross at AT&T Park. Complete with the world's best SX racers, all the extreme energy beverages you can stomach—and yes, explosions—it was a dirt-spittin' noisy good time. Thanks for the tickets Magoo. Good to see ya, fellas.

Hey, look... changes!

2009-01-26T12:06:00.001-08:00

First, Obama lifted restrictions on US funding for international pro-choice organizations, and restored pregnancy counseling services—and a little piece of America's compassion and dignity—to millions of women who can't afford it. Now, he's granted California and 13 other states autonomy over vehicle emissions and fuel efficiency standards, getting lead-footed federal control out of the way. It's only been a week, and already he's outworked and outsmarted 8 years of Bush/Cheney.

Beat it, kook.

2009-01-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

There were many sweet, sweet moments in the inauguration ceremony this morning; Yo-Yo Ma on the cello, the Benediction by Joseph Lowery, and Aretha belting it out, of course. My favorite however, had to be watching Bush exit on 'Executive One'—not to be confused with Air Force One. Because AF1 is for The President.

UNpresidented

2009-01-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

As Mark Morford points out here, there will be no shortage of watered down, benefit-of-the-doubt reviews of Dub's stolen presidential stint and the despicable conduct that defined his entire administration. Spineless journalists will say that he was misunderstood, smarter than appearances and/or just a good 'ole boy trying his best in tough times. I don't and won't buy any of it. But that's ok because tomorrow (Tuesday, actually) is a new day and we're moving on and America's healing and global makeover is already underway.

Yes, George... my sentiments exactly.

Larry the President Guy

2009-01-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

GWB (sounds like cheap beer, no?) announced in an interview today that he plans to write a book. On the topic... "You know, I'm not quite exactly sure what it's going to be, but I'm toying with the idea of maybe describing the toughest decisions I had to make as President..." On the timing... "Well, I'll say two years and it will be four. I don't know, I mean, yes, I'd like to get it done... you know, I require things to do, and I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."

Here's an idea, George: maybe you should READ a book. Children's books don't count.

It's ONLY 12 grand!

2008-12-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

Those of you that know about my 20 year obsession with rare and historic snowboards and my storage space full of vintage sleds will understand why I am fascinated with this item, currently listed on ebay for a mere $12,000.00. This is not the first time I've seen a rare board listed in this price range, but this is the first time I think the product will actually fetch it. Because this thing is rare AND nearly perfect. Tune in on New Years Day and see what price is ultimately paid for this treasure so classic that JBC himself might be bidding on it.

It's another tequila sunrise...

2008-12-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the planets align, and sometimes worlds collide. Last night happened to be the Las Olas surf crew holiday party, so we orbited town square until we arrived at the grand opening of SFTs new Tequila Bar. Featuring colonial art and over a hundred different brands of Mexico's favorite recreational beverage, it's a beautiful little spot to sip Clase Azul Ultra at $120 (dollars, not pesos) a shot. Oh, wait... recession. Right. Well, lets try Ultra's more reasonable little brother, Clase Azul Reposado, still slightly spicy and delicious, and only $12 a shot. Highlights included FREE tequila, mariachis, free tequila, fireworks, free tequila, proprietor Alberto breaking a bottle on the wall to christen the place, more free tequila, and uh... what? "Hey, we should get something to eat. Soon."

Icing on the cake

2008-12-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

After a full season stacked with victories, and a beyond-record 9th World Championship Title in October, Kelly Slater punctuated his year with yet another win today, at the Pipeline Masters—the most prestigious event in professional surfing, and the last WCT stop of 2008. The door has been slammed shut. Again.

There will be those who say it's getting old (surf journalists, bored of writing the same story over and over). There will be those who say he's an overachiever (other competitors). And there will be those that say pro surfing isn't fun anymore (Irons). But the fact is that WCT surfing has never been more exciting, and being a witness to the miracle season of Slater in '08 is a special thing. What could possibly be better than a record 6th Pipe victory on the heels of a 9th World Title and all the prize money that goes with it? Um... how 'bout Gerry Lopez builds the trophy/surfboard and hands it to you, personally? Yeah, that would be it.

"It's a major award"

2008-12-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm one of those people that doesn't win contests. Probably has a lot to do with never entering any contests. But a few months ago I was flipping through an issue of Surfing Magazine, and decided to respond to their 'Theme Issue Challenge'... basically, choose the editorial theme for an upcoming issue. I was more interested in pretending to be a surf magazine editor than I was in the prize itself—a surfboard.

I suggested the 'Secrets' issue... secret surf spots, performance secrets from the pros, secret travel tips, etc. And today I was informed by Managing Editor Travis Ferre that I won. They are going to run the Secrets issue. What do I win? Apparently, one of Josh Kerr's custom Rusty surfboards. I don't know what I will do with a potato chip of a board, but I'll worry about that later.

Thanks for BIG waves

2008-11-30T16:52:00.000-08:00

(click images, because the thumbs don't do any sort of justice)

Seems like every time a huge winter swell hits the Monterey Peninsula, I'm down in Mexico surfing shoulder high 'fun' waves. I'm not complaining, and I'm certainly not paddling out into 25' faces, but it sure is exciting to stand on Carmel Point and watch quad-overhead bombs detonate within rock-throwing distance. Finally, this Thanksgiving weekend, my timing was good and I got to shoot some photos with a small pack of psychos out in very big waves, very clean conditions and good light. Now I'll fly to Mexico tomorrow and with any luck, catch this same swell down there... after it's lost most of it's size and strength.

Make an album with Ben Folds

2008-11-19T22:44:00.000-08:00

For years, Ben Folds has been belting out some of the best and most original angst-loaded songs for college kids everywhere. Now they are giving it back. University a cappella groups are competing for a spot on a new BF album due out next year, and the entries are being posted on youtube for your listening and viewing (check the outfits) pleasure. Some are good, some are very good, and some are, uh... entertaining. UN-explicit Lyrics Warning: some of the swear words have been removed. I don't know why. Ba da dah, ba da dah, ba da dat dat dat duh...

BOSE QC2 + iTunes = restored sanity

2008-11-13T00:14:00.000-08:00

When working in Mexico, I try to embrace as much of the culture as I can. It's a wonderful place full of many good things and experiences. One cultural asteroid I can't seem to avoid, though, is the 'banda' style of music popular with caballeros and working class folks. It's festive and energetic—completely overdone with heavy bass drum, tons of brass and crashing cymbals—and typically played at an unreasonably high volume from a car stereo worth more than the car itself. The car is often parked across the street from my house.

In the evenings, when I hit my banda limit, my solution is to go to iTunes, download some new music, and then bust out the miracle called BOSE QC2 noise-canceling headphones. And here's what I've been listening to lately...

Elbow/The Seldom Seen Kid ~ cooler than Coldplay, with a shade of Pink Floyd influence

INXS/Welcome to Wherever You Are ~ probably their least commercially successful album, but among their best

Dengue Fever/Escape From Dragon House ~ Cambodian pop meets surf guitar, or B-52s on psychedelics in Southeast Asia

Obama Nation

2008-11-05T00:53:00.000-08:00

I've been watching live coverage on the computer for too many hours to now write something clever. It is 2:30am in Mexico. I have celebrated with some friends and the national agave beverage. I am tired and it's late, and it's raining. Off to bed. I'll dream of the rain washing away 8 years of the detritus of failed policies, vicious greed and shocking ignorance.

Must be October

2008-10-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

So here it is, and there it goes—the sun going down on my summer. The ball drops below the horizon, water temp drops about 6 degrees, and I drop out of California for about 7 months. I always have mixed emotions about this time of year (and this week, in particular) because one season ends and a new one begins. Bummed to be leaving, but stoked on where I'm going. The next dispatch (or the one after that) will be from Mainland Mexico. Please make sure Obama gets elected, or I swear, I'm not coming back.

McCain's Brain

2008-10-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Perhaps recently you've asked yourself... when he's out on his campaign, what goes on in McCain's brain? All the answers are right here. Five episodes, collect them all!

"Mad shout outs to the crips, Northside, sweetside, rapscallions, the homosexuals, clam-bakers, hula hoop gang, and the radish brothaaahhhsss." — excerpt from episode #4

Pond Scum goes public

2008-10-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

An adult libation of my own creation (formerly known as Pond Scum) has been picked up by Sayulita Fish Taco and we've rebranded it for release on their 2009 menu. Now called The Slater Snap, it celebrates Kelly Slater's new (9th) ASP World Title. And all you have to do to try it is book a flight to Puerto Vallarta, get a shuttle to Sayulita, and then walk over to SFT on the backside of the square. Or make them at home. Salud! and congrats to Slates.

Hey Joe . . .

2008-10-16T16:36:00.001-07:00

Some guy—any guy—named Joe sure is popular in the McPain campaign. While Palin is flirting with Joe Six Pack, McCain tried to snuggle up to "Joe the Plumber" 21 times in Wednesday's debate. Joe Wurzelbacher of Ohio was an undecided voter who had a brief chat with Barack Obama on the campaign trial. Now he's an unwitting player in the presidential campaign. And he's getting his 15 minutes of fame, a Wikipedia entry and some unwelcome scrutiny from the IRS. Think he's stoked on McCain?

Now, the hard questions. Why, all of the sudden, is Joe the default name for 'average American guy'? What happened to John Doe and John Q. Public? Do they know they have been cast aside for Joe? Were they even offered a position on McCain's team before they were so ruthlessly kicked to the curb? And how does Joe Biden feel about Joe-Mania?

SNOWNORMOUS BROPIDITY

2008-10-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

Summer is a wrap, and I know because the first issues of the 08/09 snowboard mags have started to find me. If you read snowboard magazines or are under the age of 20, you probably think that Lib Tech's Magne-Traction and Banana Technology are the pinnacle of product design in the wintery white world of shred. But you'd be wrong. Those aren't technologies—they're sales gimmicks to make new products seem, uh... new. But they are not even new, because Banana Technology (also known as 'rocker') already existed in 1979 when Tom Sims built oversized skateboards with swallowtails and rode them on snow, and because Magne-Traction (also known as 'serrated edge') has existed for hundreds of years, on steak knives.

And while a serrated edge is indeed superior for cutting things (such as wood and French bread) it is NOT superior to a smooth blade (or in the case of a snowboard, a smooth, sharp edge combined with camber) for carving a precise arc across the surface of snow at high speed. So then, what is Magne-Banana good for? It's good for making non-precise sliding turns and for not catching an edge when wood-box-boarding and metal-rail-riding... which are a big deal in snowboarding, still, and beg the question "Why not simply rename snowboarding pretend-skateboarding?" Cuz that's what you kids are doing, and by the by, that's cool with me. Keeps ya in the jib park.

Rock the casbah

2008-10-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

Released just days ago, The Clash: Live At Shea Stadium is the first 'real' live album from "the only band that matters." In '99 they gave us From Here To Eternity, a compilation of live performances spanning several years and venues. This is very different, and long overdue: a complete set performance on the second and final night of the engagement as the opening act for The Who in front of 70,000 drenched fans; it was pouring rain. Yep, sounds like 1982. If you love The Clash, I don't even have to tell you what to do right now.

Addendum: I've been listening to it for about a week now, and I'm stoked. It's tight, energetic and, like the band itself, over too soon. Must-have for Clash fans.

Jane six pack

2008-10-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

There weren't a lot of surprises in last night's second presidential debate. Barack Obama was confident and composed. John McCain was snide and shifty. Perhaps the shocker is that McPain didn't spontaneously burst into flames of rage while he watched the election slowly slip away from him, one voter, one mean-spirited comment, one straight up lie at a time. Don't cry Little Johnny... you can always go back to crashing planes and humiliating your wife for fun. And what of the Sarah-cuda? Oh, she was watching the debate on TV, one red state over, in a bar. Motherhood at it's finest.

Whaaa-BOOM!

2008-10-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

That heavy thud you just heard was the door slamming shut on the World Championship aspirations of 43 of the top 44 WCT surfers. Kelly Slater is the slammer, now standing alone on one side of the door—World Champ for the 9th time—and 43 very talented but very frustrated surfers are on the other, probably muttering in disbelief "How can anyone be that good?"

With today's Round 3 heat victory at the Billabong Pro in Spain, Slater locked up enough points for World Title Number 9, a feat so unique and seemingly impossible, that his rivals don't know whether to drench him in beer or drown him in the shorebreak. As his performances this season have illustrated, he is still, at age 36, a competitive juggernaut. Overstatement? Hardly. The numbers draw a complete picture.

Legendary WCT surfers Martin Potter, Occy, and Sunny Garcia have only managed one World Title each in their respective and celebrated careers.
Slater claimed his first crown in 1992, his sophomore year on tour, at age 20. He was the youngest ever to win the title.
He skipped a beat in '93, then stacked up an incredible five in a row, from '94 to '98. Had he stopped there, the 'Greatest Surfer In History' hallmark was already upon him.
He enjoyed semi-retirement from '99 to '02 and dated supermodels, while the rest of the WCT exhaled in relief and scrambled to fill the void.
Slater rejoined the tour in '03, during Andy Irons ascension to 3X champ, and reasserted himself as king with his 7th and 8th titles in '05 and '06.
His 7th title in '05 made him the youngest AND oldest surfer (at age 34) to win a World Championship.
He holds more individual event titles (39) and has earned more prize money—over $1.7 million written out on big, cardboard checks—than any other surfer in history.
He has surpassed every competitive landmark formerly held by Tom Curren (3X World Champ and the previous 'Greatest Surfer Of All Time').
In 14 years on tour, he has never finished a season ranked lower than 6th in the world.
He is also the record 5 time Pipeline Masters Champion, with wins in '92 '94 '95 '96, and '99, and 2X Triple Crown Champion.
In 2008, he has claimed a staggering 5 event titles and the crown. He is currently the second oldest surfer on tour.

The names he is often likened to tell a story as well: Roger Federer. Tony Hawk. Tiger Woods. Michael Jordan. Lance Armstrong.

Kelly Slater. The King. Again.

Last thing... rumor has it that if he can manage a 10th title, Quiksilver will bonus him $10 million.

Have a rice day

2008-10-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

October 1st is 'Sake Day' in San Francisco, and enthusiasts are hanging out at Fort Mason to sip and savor. SF's True Sake is the sponsor and if you can't make it to the event this evening, you can always go by the store in Hayes Valley at your leisure. There you'll find the best selection of sakes on the West Coast and friendly advice. Kampai!

Debate is ON!

2008-09-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

JMc: "Daddy George, please don't leave me. I can't do this. I don't want to go to the debate. I'm scared!"

GWB: "There there now, little Johnny, you'll be alright. Just stick to yer talkin' points, like I always did. If they ask you something, you know, intellectualistic, then just remind them how terrible 9/11 was, and that we have to defeat the terrorists at all costs. OK Johnny? You can let go now. Johnny, let go... your sweatin' on me John..."

Meet The Press?

2008-09-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

Well now, that was certainly worth waiting for. After successfully avoiding the media for weeks, Sarah Palin finally blurted out poorly memorized responses to exactly four queries from reporters, and the results were pretty much what you'd expect: soft questions, canned answers, mangled sentences, and blank stares. George? Is that you? Nice lipstick.

I don't know who to despise more... the rabid anti-choice gun nut Bambi killer VP wannabe, or the spineless, sleepy media sloths who forgot why they got into that business in the first place. The most valuable take-away from the exchange? Palin thinks that every student in America needs to drop what they are doing to visit the "community of New York" to pay their respects at Ground Zero.... lest they never forget what happened there, and to not repeat it. Yeah, she accidentally said that.

Obama. Obey. Oh boy.

2008-09-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Pop art icon Shepard Fairey of Obey Giant fame has designed some cool Obama stickers, available at Sticker Robot, a really nifty site (if you're into that sort of thing). You'll receive them just in time for the critical last weeks before the election that either gives us a ray of HOPE for the future, or a slap of McPain that will sting for at least four years. So... 'Barack' The Vote.

Save The Golfers

2008-09-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here on the Peninsula, where the clean saltwater of the Monterey Bay Natl. Marine Sanctuary gently laps at the wedding quality white sand of Carmel and Pebble's Beaches, we take our environmental issues seriously. So when some wayward Red-shouldered Hawk thinks it's okay to intrude on the hallowed and protected grounds of Spyglass, Spanish Bay or the Pebble Beach Golf Links, and disturb golfers in their natural habitat... well, something must be done. Fortunately, the bird respected the boundary and moved on quietly without threatening these two fine gentlemen; no response was required.

Also, odd rock formations have been found along local beaches and there's speculation that a hippy/artist organization is working subversively in the area, promoting serenity and quiet contemplation. Pebble Beach security is on heightened alert. (photos by Mom)

"Johnnie don't surf!"

2008-09-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

But Barack does, the hard way—without a board. Check out the Hawaiian homeboy charging it in the shorebreak with classic form, commitment, and intense focus. Who would Lt. Colonel Kilgore vote for; fellow soldier McCain, or fellow surfer Obama? We know this... McCain can't raise his arms over his head. How is he supposed to 'claim it' after a nice, deep tube? Seriously though... McCain is a kook.

Kill bears, censor books, drill ANWR and teach creation?

2008-09-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I don't know one single person who can come up with one single intelligent reason to support Sarah Palin's bid for the second highest office in the US. Everyone I know is scratching their heads and crooking their eyebrows and wondering if this nightmare can actually come true. Lets stop wondering and start worrying. Because look what happened last time we wondered a moment too long.

First, vote for Obama. Second... if YOU know somebody who thinks Palin might be a good VP—or far worse, President (should McCain um... expire)—then please enlighten them. TwoVoters.com has a library of easy-to-email high production quality one minute videos that will leave no one on the fence. Also, there's a pretty compelling list of reasons (and incriminating photos, oh boy!) that not only assert why Palin will make a TERRIBLE leader, but also support that she's a terrible person, who would rather shoot animals and burn books than travel abroad. She's G.W. Bush in a skirt... and potentially more dangerous than Bush and McCain combined. And she's my pick for 'Next Politician To Accidentally Shoot Someone In The Face'.

Palin bounce ruins my vacation

2008-09-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

I go on vacation (complete with a media semi-blackout... hey, I was keeping busy in the city that never sleeps) and this is what happens? Ten days ago Sarah Palin was a joke of a newly named VP candidate—and barely a politician, for that matter. And now, McPalin and Obama are EVEN in the polls? WTF?! I'm sorry to be so self focused, but this is ruining the very recent happy memories of NYC sake bars and the world's finest tennis players doing battle on center court at the US Open in Flushing Meadows. We had really nice court-side seats, too. (sigh)

This photo is making the rounds on the internet, and my dead-eye Photoshop expert friend says he can't tell if it's faked or not. No matter. The concept that Palin is an armed, bikini-clad Bambi killer is certainly not in question. Be careful America... sometimes you get what you ask for. And you will certainly deserve it.

2008-09-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

Staycation? Not a chance. Heading to NYC for the US Open, and four solid days of pro tennis spectator-ing with one Mr. Holden Hume. Hoping for a Nadal/Federer slugfest of a final, which will further lock them into a McEnroe/Borg-like rivalry for the next few years. Also hoping... to hit most of the Manhattan sake bars I've researched... to play tennis in Central Park... that there are fresh, hot bagels close to the hotel, and... that Liza Minnelli is NOT singing the national anthem on the evening of the finals. Again. Sorry, it's just TOO New York.

White shark at MBAQ: 4 for 4 since '04

2008-08-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

For the fourth time, the Monterey Bay Aquarium has put a Great White Shark on display in their million gallon Outer Bay exhibit. Again, it's a juvenile taken off the coast of Malibu that they will likely release early in '09. The rumor is that this will be the last white shark on exhibit until 2011, as the Outer Bay will undergo remodeling in '09/10. The MBAQ is the only aquarium in the world that has ever successfully displayed, fed in captivity, and released a Great White back into the wild, and clearly, they are getting pretty damn good at it.

Surfing is officially ruined

2008-08-25T12:22:00.000-07:00

It was the last remaining bastion of action sports originality. Snowboarding succumbed a long time ago with the invention of the terrain park—and my help, I might add. Now there are as many rail shots as powder shots in most snow mags, and that annoys me. Wakeboarding is nothing if not a bastardization of everything skate and snow. And you know the skate influence is out of control when FSMXers are doing front wheel manuals on boxes. But now surfing is ruined, too.

And while surfing had been previously enlightened with skate-influenced airs via the Momentum Generation, the 'Rail of Death' is a step too far, a step too cruel, and well... that thing is just plain hideous and looks wrong on a beach. Thanks Transworld Pretend Skateboarding Empire, you've done it again.

Go slather yourself

2008-08-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if Lake Superior State University is actually redefining the classroom (as their website states) but they are taking a healthy shot at ridding the English language of a bunch of stupid phrases that most of us are sick of. If you pay even passing attention the media, then you hear phrases like "post-911" and "perfect storm" about a hundred times a day too many. Hence this list of words and phrases to be banned. I agree with most of them, and will be submitting my own suggestions... and you can play along here.

From the 'Massive Overuse In Restaurant Menus' category, please banish forever: drizzled (drizzle is an effect of excessive moisture, not a method to apply toppings) and slathered (you slather on sunscreen, not butter). Why? Because it smacks of trying too hard to make food sound sexy. Because you'd never hear them in a busy kitchen. Can you imagine? "Pietro! Pass me the ladle, I have to do some drizzling!" The only chefs using these words either have a TV show or are taking themselves way too seriously; and usually both.

I am the customer. I don't want a bag.

2008-08-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

It happened again. Some grocery store robot almost had to have his circuits rewired after I declined a plastic bag for my purchase. He got confused and gave it a second attempt. I declined again and so he put the unused plastic bag in the trash can under the check stand (which is of course, lined with a plastic bag) and in doing so, rendered my tiny act of environmentalism meaningless. Then he just stared down at his shoes, unsure whether to report me to the plastics industry or go on a smoke break.

Look kid, I know they tell you in training that you must force at least one plastic bag on every customer for every purchase, no mater how small or uncumbersome. I know they tell you that customers will get upset if they are not given a plastic bag. But I am the customer and I do not want a bag—for my single item, tile cleaner—and I WILL WIN this exchange. The plastic bag is not any easier to carry than the product itself. I have two completely functional hands. See the stupidity, stupid? And I don't want the damn receipt for $4.66, either. I am not going to return tile cleaner. Even if it doesn't work.

A dog named Booger, Part 2

2008-08-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Can it really get any weirder than the woman who sells her house to finance the cloning of her deceased canine, and then names one of the five new pups after herself? Yes, oh yes... it can get a whole lot weirder than that. Bernann McKinney, the obviously insane woman who made worldwide headlines two weeks ago is back in the spotlight—but the news isn't all cute floppy ears and cuddly puppy happiness.

When it was suggested that she was the infamous Joyce McKinney, who fled the UK in 1977 after being accused of the abduction and rape of a fellow student, she originally denied the connection. But after being literally hounded (how appropriate) by media that she herself engaged, admitted that she is indeed Joyce Bernann McKinney... former Miss Wyoming, BYU drama student, nudie-mag model, stalker, fugitive and global troublemaker. In her defense, she snapped "I thought people would be honest enough to see me as a person who was trying to do something good..." Uh, yeah, because nothing says 'I've repented' like cloning your dog.

Walking The Tiger

2008-08-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

For someone who growls a lot about the evils of Big Oil and irresponsible gas consumption, I was pretty easily seduced by the look, feel and sound of the 1965 Carroll Shelby Cobra I've been driving around for a couple of days. The annual Carmel 'Concours on the Avenue' is in town and so is my buddy Roberto and his new piece of blood red rolling thunder. What's it like to drive the Cobra? Imagine walking through your local downtown with a muscular and nervous Bengal Tiger on a leash, and hoping you can exact the proper control should it decide to break free and go crazy. Intense... that's what it's like.

Crazy Eights

2008-08-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

In China, the number 8 is considered auspicious. Nine thousand couples got married in China today, twice as many as any other day in history. And while China's cute decision to begin the Olympic opening ceremony at 8:08:08pm on 8/8/08 seems excessively specific, their fondest hope—to win MANY medals—seems hopelessly vague. 88 medals? Doubt it. 8 medals? Ooooh, that would suck.

Enjoy some Pond Scum

2008-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

If you're stuck at home choking down the dry hype of a media-manufactured staycation sandwich, you might as well wash it down with something frosty, cool and strong. My own creation, Pond Scum sounds terrible but is actually delicious, and by the bottom of the first blender you'll think you're VAYcationing on the mythical Isla de Corona.

~ In a blender, put: ice, Bacardi Superior white rum (lots), pineapple chunks (handful), & peeled kiwis (3).

~ Blend it up. It turns a pale, dirty green color, with the black seeds from the kiwis enhancing the effect.

~ Pour into frosty glasses. Float a splash of Meyer's dark rum on top, and garnish with a mint leaf.

~ Take 4 to 6 and pass out in a hammock.

When it comes to thirst-quenching summertime adult beverages, margaritas are sooo last year. Bud Lite Lime is just plain stupid. Pond Scum is refreshingly... fresh. Please drink responsibly.

A dog named Booger

2008-08-05T16:06:00.000-07:00

Six of them, actually. First, the original Booger, who passed away in March of '06, and now, the five CLONED Booger-like puppies that a clearly unhinged person named Bernann McKinney had manufactured by a South Korean biotech firm. Inconsolable over the loss of her best friend, she scoured the globe to find scientists who would take dna from the deceased and use it to create new Boogers. She traveled to Seoul this week to pick up her five brand new former dogs, and paid the 'first commercial customer' discounted price of $50K. That's ten grand apiece for five genetically identical dogs. Look, if I won the lottery tomorrow, and went hog-loco buying myself whatever ridiculously overpriced thing I wanted, I still couldn't justify buying five of the exact same... anything.

Now the names—and I swear I am not making these up: Booger Ra, Booger Lee, Booger Dong, Booger Park and yes, her namesake, little Booger Bernann. "Aw, he has your eyes. I can tell by the gleam of insanity."

The Law of Random Convergence

2008-08-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ever think about someone you haven't thought about or spoken to in a long time, only to have them call or email you the very next hour, or day? Such was the case this weekend when I booked a September flight to NYC (for the US Open) and recalled past trips to the Apple, including one almost exactly ten years ago, where I ran into one Mark G. (aka Rex Fury, on the right, Rhode on the left), homey and surf-bro from the Bay Area. Guess who emailed me a few hours later? Yep. It just goes that way sometimes. And I like it.

Kelp is not my friend

2008-07-28T16:13:00.001-07:00

It is no fun to slowly drag yourself with your arms across a large bed of kelp, when you should be gliding swiftly across glassy ocean. A small navigational error put me in the weeds on Saturday at the annual Pier 2 Pier paddleboard race—Santa Cruz to Capitola, 5 miles. But it was still fun, my favorite race of the year, actually. No sign up, no liability form, no entry fee, no boat support, no trophies and no rules. Just show up and go fast and have fun and celebrate on the beach afterward. Fifty-nine minutes put me in 6th place in the unlimited (18' boards) division; 3 minutes slower than last year's time, but still in under an hour. I can live with that.

Little book of horrors

2008-07-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

Still hanging onto a twig of faith in the Bush administration? This will snap it. Jeremy Scahill's book Blackwater is the true story of what happens when a silver spoon soldier inherits half a billion dollars from his right wing Christian fundamentalist daddy. He buys 1000+ acres in South Carolina, opens a military training compound, and assembles the world's largest private mercenary army. All just in time for the 9/11 response, and massive no-bid contracts from the Pentagon for combat personnel. The kicker? Private 'contractors' are not held accountable for their actions like US soldiers are, so, well, um, ooops sorry those Iraqi civilians got shot. What's for lunch? Warning: reading this book will make you bitter and fidgety for weeks. It will also ensure you vote in November, so there's that.

Untouchable

2008-07-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

At age 36, the second oldest surfer on the ASP, Kelly Slater is battering his opponents like an unstoppable Cat 5 hurricane. With his most recent win in South Africa, he's taken 4 of 5 events, and is so far ahead in points that only a complete meltdown—coupled with an equally amazing win streak by one of his competitors—could be his undoing at this point. Claiming it... he's going to be World Champion for the 9th time, probably by early September. SL8R is about to become SL9R. If you don't follow competitive surfing, imagine 7X Tour winner Lance Armstrong wallowing in retirement for a few more years, then coming back in say 2010, and winning 2 more, relatively easily. Yeah, he's that good.

Hang-shred-cross... or something

2008-07-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

For those of you who hate the simplicity of the snowboard... or must have handlebars to hang onto (even when not biking) or don't get to spend nearly enough time suspended in a parallel-to-the-ground harness; if you long for an action sport that simultaneously employs cables, clips, foot pegs, pulleys and a boom all into one ridiculously complicated contraption, some Canadians give you... Hangboard. "It's the closest thing I've felt to flying. Other than falling out of a plane." — quote from promo video

Goodbye to the world's biggest idiot

2008-07-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Is it really that hard, George? Really? All you had to do was show up at the last G8 summit you'll ever be burdened with attending, and be semi-polite and stay awake and pretend to be interested. And then shake some hands and smile and get your photo taken with the other world leaders. You know... be 'leaderly'. And then you could skulk back to Texas, and silently thank God that that is over. But no. You had to open your mouth and embarrass us all, once again. You'd think we'd just be used to it by now, and laugh.

But signing off by telling the other world leaders "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter" is not funny. It's tasteless. It's just another piece of evidence that you are a snide, soulless, rotten-to-the-core bad apple and excuse for a human being. Nobody I know will lament your exit in January. "Good fucking riddance." That is what we will say. Then we will have a party featuring French bread, French wine and French (not Freedom) fries. The party will be outdoors, near some old-growth Redwood trees. Mexican illegals and pro-choice gay/married couples will attend.

Elvis, Sting and me

2008-07-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

We are all getting just a little bit old, apparently. Months ago I bought tickets to see The Police in San Jose, and weeks later learned that Elvis Costello was the opener; a nice bonus. Mostly, this was about my unresolved angst at having to give up a pair of Police tickets back in 1984, because I couldn't get the night off work. Well, the show was Monday night, and it didn't exactly disappoint, but... EC and The Attractions seemed lackluster (or maybe just plain tired) and by the end of the show he was losing his voice. Sting appeared onstage to assist with 'Alison' (his aim was true) and that created some excitement.

The more energetic Police took over at dark and belted out successive classics; some true to their original versions, others with the Sting spin, changed tempos and arrangements, as he is known to do. Sometimes that works for me, but not always. I really would have liked to hear Synchronicity 2, Darkness or a couple of other lesser known but brilliant songs. But overall, it was quite good. And energetic, and fun. Back to getting old; Sting is rocking a scraggly looking grey beard, and I think I just enjoy concerts a little less than I did 20 years ago.

Beat It Kook

2008-07-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

On the escape from Big Sur, we pulled over and paused to shoot some photos of billowing smoke, helicopters, and evacuation chaos. An SUV sped toward us, and I watched in horror (for both the boards and the traffic behind, equally) as the wind liberated 3 surfboards from their roof rack. The front bungee cord (1st mistake) failed and the back one held, resulting in boards being dragged along the highway by the car. They had the fins to the back (mistake #2); had they been forward they could have caught and prevented the ensuing disaster. They were going about 65 mph, way too fast in gusty 40 mph winds, completing the mistake trifecta.

I ran back to help, and found 3 semi-concerned females, struggling to get boards out of the road and back onto the car. Chis was right behind me with a pair of wide nylon straps to loan or give away. We had them re-racked quickly and properly, and we're incredulous when some dude (a boyfriend or hubby following them... he looked like a mistake too) showed up too late to be of any help, and asked "do you think those straps will hold?" Uh, no, lets try the bungee cords again, genius. We sent the ladies on their way without much conversation or appreciation. You can't see it well in this photo of them driving away, but the bumper sticker on the far right says 'Beat It Kook'. I agree.

Big Drama in Big Sur

2008-07-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

On the Monterey Peninsula this week, the Big News is still the Basin Complex fire. On Wednesday, Chris and I headed South into the belly of the beast, to help a friend evacuate his house. We spent the day packing up valuables, moving furniture and wetting everything down. We shoved off just as the Fire Dept. and Sheriffs were coming up the road to chase everyone out. As of today, the fire has not reached the home, and appears to be moving more inland, but fingers are still crossed. Lots of emergency vehicles (including 7 helicopters with buckets) were working the area. Scary to contemplate, but amazing to see. Firefighters are badass, real life heroes. Hug your local hoseman today.