Sunday, February 7, 2010

Number Three

This is she. The third in a line of Subaru Outbacks that have hauled my snowboards, surfboards, skateboards, paddleboards and friends to many adventures and back. She is black-on-black and I'm never going back. (Well, maybe I'd eventually go back to another exterior color, but I'm now sold on black leather interior.) Number Three looks like most other Outbacks on the road, but is hiding a 250hp Boxer Turbo under the hood that creates acceleration I've also grown fond of. It took me less than three hours of owning her to get pulled over, but New Kar Karma was on my side and Mr. Nice Officer let me slide with a warning, not a ticket. Thanks officer. I promise to keep it real. Almost all of the time.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Number Two and Number One

This is the one—although this is Number Two. This is the '98 Subaru Outback that convinced me that Outbacks are the greatest cars ever made for the modern action sports hero or heroine. Got snowboards, surfboards, paddleboards, skateboards, or bikes (but please, no stupid hybrid toys) you need to haul up the hill or down to the sea? This is your steed. One hundred and seventy three thousand miles, and still running strong. OK, there's an issue with the thermostat this week, but that's a minor detail. Minor. This sweet baby saw it all and handled it all, and is still ready for more. (And she's for sale, inquire within.) I named her Number Two because...

There was one before her, a Sub Wagon, before they were called Outbacks, and that one was gnarly... a vicious little red menace that never needed oil (until the day she died from lack of oil) and tore it up in the snow and got purposefully slammed into snowbanks and she just kept running and running. I can't remember how many miles Number One had; it was a lot. I bought her for eight hundred bucks, sold her for eight hundred. Three plus years of service without so much as a legit wash with soap or a fresh quart of oil. I was mean to her but I loved her and I learned my lesson. Things were different with Number Two. I'm not even sure I can sell her. Make an offer. She and I will discuss it.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Yep, Bono knows

As my friend Magoo @ Crown Lounge points out, U2 frontman Bono is good for more than just belting out angst-fueled anthems that have made youth pump their fists for more than 25 years. In this piece for the NY Times—yeah, he can write, too—he supports my position that Apple belongs in the auto-making business (see previous post).

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sign(s) of the times

Today Apple boasted that the iTunes store sold its three billionth app for the iPhone/iPod, a device so revolutionary that, well... three billion individual user apps have been purchased for it; a device so culturally impacted that I wasn't even surprised when I saw a nun using one.

In other news, Chrysler announced that their auto sales are at a four decade low. Not since JFK was in office have they sold less than a million cars a year. I suspect this might have something to do with consistently making cars that only appeal to the Dick Cheney’s of the world; unstylish, sloth-like behemoths that poison the Earth and smell bad and look terrible. (Wait. Cheney? Or Chrysler? Yeah, both.)

Now then—thinking forward—if only Apple would make a car. Sound silly? Think again. Apple is chillin' in the same Silicon Valley hood as electric car upstart Tesla Motors, makers of the exceptionally fast, sleek and 100% electric Tesla Roadster. As digital devices continue to permeate our world, as cars grow increasingly dependent on a computer 'brain' and as we search for cleaner, greener technology in nearly everything, it only makes sense.

Think they aren’t talking about it? I’d wager they are.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Congratulations on all your "support"

Someone asked me recently—via facebook—"isn't picking on Sarah Palin getting a little old?" Technically, the answer is yes, it is getting old. But so is having to hear her, look at her, and consider the prospect, however remote, that she might weasel her way back into the American political machine. And with her recent book release, she continues to assert that she is somehow relevant, and so I'm compelled to continue to insist that, NO, she is not. But yeah, lets move on from Sarah and instead—here comes a fun diversion—lets pick on her supporters.

And actually, we're not really picking on them. At a recent book signing at a Borders in Columbus, Ohio, they are pretty much just embarrassing themselves. We're just going to witness the witlessness. Disclaimer: this video is about 8 minutes long, and it is painful to watch. If you just can't give up a few minutes to marvel at these comments, I've covered a few highlights for you below. Um... enjoy?

"She's like... a rock star..."

"Fairness, realness... I can't think of policies right off the bat."
(when asked what policies she would like to see Palin bring to office)

"The state that she did govern was right across the street from Russia..."

"We do need to have profiling. We're Americans. We're first, other people are last."

(incoherent babbling)