Kelp is not my friend

It is no fun to slowly drag yourself with your arms across a large bed of kelp, when you should be gliding swiftly across glassy ocean. A small navigational error put me in the weeds on Saturday at the annual Pier 2 Pier paddleboard race—Santa Cruz to Capitola, 5 miles. But it was still fun, my favorite race of the year, actually. No sign up, no liability form, no entry fee, no boat support, no trophies and no rules. Just show up and go fast and have fun and celebrate on the beach afterward. Fifty-nine minutes put me in 6th place in the unlimited (18' boards) division; 3 minutes slower than last year's time, but still in under an hour. I can live with that.

Little book of horrors

Still hanging onto a twig of faith in the Bush administration? This will snap it. Jeremy Scahill's book Blackwater is the true story of what happens when a silver spoon soldier inherits half a billion dollars from his right wing Christian fundamentalist daddy. He buys 1000+ acres in South Carolina, opens a military training compound, and assembles the world's largest private mercenary army. All just in time for the 9/11 response, and massive no-bid contracts from the Pentagon for combat personnel. The kicker? Private 'contractors' are not held accountable for their actions like US soldiers are, so, well, um, ooops sorry those Iraqi civilians got shot. What's for lunch? Warning: reading this book will make you bitter and fidgety for weeks. It will also ensure you vote in November, so there's that.

Untouchable

At age 36, the second oldest surfer on the ASP, Kelly Slater is battering his opponents like an unstoppable Cat 5 hurricane. With his most recent win in South Africa, he's taken 4 of 5 events, and is so far ahead in points that only a complete meltdown—coupled with an equally amazing win streak by one of his competitors—could be his undoing at this point. Claiming it... he's going to be World Champion for the 9th time, probably by early September. SL8R is about to become SL9R. If you don't follow competitive surfing, imagine 7X Tour winner Lance Armstrong wallowing in retirement for a few more years, then coming back in say 2010, and winning 2 more, relatively easily. Yeah, he's that good. 

Hang-shred-cross... or something

For those of you who hate the simplicity of the snowboard... or must have handlebars to hang onto (even when not biking) or don't get to spend nearly enough time suspended in a parallel-to-the-ground harness; if you long for an action sport that simultaneously employs cables, clips, foot pegs, pulleys and a boom all into one ridiculously complicated contraption, some Canadians give you... Hangboard. "It's the closest thing I've felt to flying. Other than falling out of a plane." — quote from promo video

Goodbye to the world's biggest idiot

Is it really that hard, George? Really? All you had to do was show up at the last G8 summit you'll ever be burdened with attending, and be semi-polite and stay awake and pretend to be interested. And then shake some hands and smile and get your photo taken with the other world leaders. You know... be 'leaderly'. And then you could skulk back to Texas, and silently thank God that that is over. But no. You had to open your mouth and embarrass us all, once again. You'd think we'd just be used to it by now, and laugh. 

But signing off by telling the other world leaders "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter" is not funny. It's tasteless. It's just another piece of evidence that you are a snide, soulless, rotten-to-the-core bad apple and excuse for a human being. Nobody I know will lament your exit in January. "Good fucking riddance." That is what we will say. Then we will have a party featuring French bread, French wine and French (not Freedom) fries. The party will be outdoors, near some old-growth Redwood trees. Mexican illegals and pro-choice gay/married couples will attend.

Elvis, Sting and me

  

We are all getting just a little bit old, apparently. Months ago I bought tickets to see The Police in San Jose, and weeks later learned that Elvis Costello was the opener; a nice bonus. Mostly, this was about my unresolved angst at having to give up a pair of Police tickets back in 1984, because I couldn't get the night off work. Well, the show was Monday night, and it didn't exactly disappoint, but... EC and The Attractions seemed lackluster (or maybe just plain tired) and by the end of the show he was losing his voice. Sting appeared onstage to assist with 'Alison' (his aim was true) and that created some excitement.

The more energetic Police took over at dark and belted out successive classics; some true to their original versions, others with the Sting spin, changed tempos and arrangements, as he is known to do. Sometimes that works for me, but not always. I really would have liked to hear Synchronicity 2, Darkness or a couple of other lesser known but brilliant songs. But overall, it was quite good. And energetic, and fun. Back to getting old; Sting is rocking a scraggly looking grey beard, and I think I just enjoy concerts a little less than I did 20 years ago.  

Beat It Kook

  
On the escape from Big Sur, we pulled over and paused to shoot some photos of billowing smoke, helicopters, and evacuation chaos. An SUV sped toward us, and I watched in horror (for both the boards and the traffic behind, equally) as the wind liberated 3 surfboards from their roof rack. The front bungee cord (1st mistake) failed and the back one held, resulting in boards being dragged along the highway by the car. They had the fins to the back (mistake #2); had they been forward they could have caught and prevented the ensuing disaster. They were going about 65 mph, way too fast in gusty 40 mph winds, completing the mistake trifecta.

I ran back to help, and found 3 semi-concerned females, struggling to get boards out of the road and back onto the car. Chis was right behind me with a pair of wide nylon straps to loan or give away. We had them re-racked quickly and properly, and we're incredulous when some dude (a boyfriend or hubby following them... he looked like a mistake too) showed up too late to be of any help, and asked "do you think those straps will hold?" Uh, no, lets try the bungee cords again, genius. We sent the ladies on their way without much conversation or appreciation. You can't see it well in this photo of them driving away, but the bumper sticker on the far right says 'Beat It Kook'. I agree.

Big Drama in Big Sur

  
On the Monterey Peninsula this week, the Big News is still the Basin Complex fire. On Wednesday, Chris and I headed South into the belly of the beast, to help a friend evacuate his house. We spent the day packing up valuables, moving furniture and wetting everything down. We shoved off just as the Fire Dept. and Sheriffs were coming up the road to chase everyone out. As of today, the fire has not reached the home, and appears to be moving more inland, but fingers are still crossed. Lots of emergency vehicles (including 7 helicopters with buckets) were working the area. Scary to contemplate, but amazing to see. Firefighters are badass, real life heroes. Hug your local hoseman today.