Must be October

So here it is, and there it goes—the sun going down on my summer. The ball drops below the horizon, water temp drops about 6 degrees, and I drop out of California for about 7 months. I always have mixed emotions about this time of year (and this week, in particular) because one season ends and a new one begins. Bummed to be leaving, but stoked on where I'm going. The next dispatch (or the one after that) will be from Mainland Mexico. Please make sure Obama gets elected, or I swear, I'm not coming back.

McCain's Brain

Perhaps recently you've asked yourself... when he's out on his campaign, what goes on in McCain's brain? All the answers are right here. Five episodes, collect them all! 

"Mad shout outs to the crips, Northside, sweetside, rapscallions, the homosexuals, clam-bakers, hula hoop gang, and the radish brothaaahhhsss." — excerpt from episode #4

Pond Scum goes public

An adult libation of my own creation (formerly known as Pond Scum) has been picked up by Sayulita Fish Taco and we've rebranded it for release on their 2009 menu. Now called The Slater Snap, it celebrates Kelly Slater's new (9th) ASP World Title. And all you have to do to try it is book a flight to Puerto Vallarta, get a shuttle to Sayulita, and then walk over to SFT on the backside of the square. Or make them at home. Salud! and congrats to Slates.

Hey Joe . . .

Some guy—any guy—named Joe sure is popular in the McPain campaign. While Palin is flirting with Joe Six Pack, McCain tried to snuggle up to "Joe the Plumber" 21 times in Wednesday's debate. Joe Wurzelbacher of Ohio was an undecided voter who had a brief chat with Barack Obama on the campaign trial. Now he's an unwitting player in the presidential campaign. And he's getting his 15 minutes of fame, a Wikipedia entry and some unwelcome scrutiny from the IRS. Think he's stoked on McCain?

Now, the hard questions. Why, all of the sudden, is Joe the default name for 'average American guy'? What happened to John Doe and John Q. Public? Do they know they have been cast aside for Joe? Were they even offered a position on McCain's team before they were so ruthlessly kicked to the curb? And how does Joe Biden feel about Joe-Mania?

SNOWNORMOUS BROPIDITY

   

Summer is a wrap, and I know because the first issues of the 08/09 snowboard mags have started to find me. If you read snowboard magazines or are under the age of 20, you probably think that Lib Tech's Magne-Traction and Banana Technology are the pinnacle of product design in the wintery white world of shred. But you'd be wrong. Those aren't technologies—they're sales gimmicks to make new products seem, uh... new. But they are not even new, because Banana Technology (also known as 'rocker') already existed in 1979 when Tom Sims built oversized skateboards with swallowtails and rode them on snow, and because Magne-Traction (also known as 'serrated edge') has existed for hundreds of years, on steak knives.

And while a serrated edge is indeed superior for cutting things (such as wood and French bread) it is NOT superior to a smooth blade (or in the case of a snowboard, a smooth, sharp edge combined with camber) for carving a precise arc across the surface of snow at high speed. So then, what is Magne-Banana good for? It's good for making non-precise sliding turns and for not catching an edge when wood-box-boarding and metal-rail-riding... which are a big deal in snowboarding, still, and beg the question "Why not simply rename snowboarding pretend-skateboarding?" Cuz that's what you kids are doing, and by the by, that's cool with me. Keeps ya in the jib park.

Rock the casbah

Released just days ago, The Clash: Live At Shea Stadium is the first 'real' live album from "the only band that matters." In '99 they gave us From Here To Eternity, a compilation of live performances spanning several years and venues. This is very different, and long overdue: a complete set performance on the second and final night of the engagement as the opening act for The Who in front of 70,000 drenched fans; it was pouring rain. Yep, sounds like 1982. If you love The Clash, I don't even have to tell you what to do right now.

Addendum: I've been listening to it for about a week now, and I'm stoked. It's tight, energetic and, like the band itself, over too soon. Must-have for Clash fans.

Jane six pack

There weren't a lot of surprises in last night's second presidential debate. Barack Obama was confident and composed. John McCain was snide and shifty. Perhaps the shocker is that McPain didn't spontaneously burst into flames of rage while he watched the election slowly slip away from him, one voter, one mean-spirited comment, one straight up lie at a time. Don't cry Little Johnny... you can always go back to crashing planes and humiliating your wife for fun. And what of the Sarah-cuda? Oh, she was watching the debate on TV, one red state over, in a bar. Motherhood at it's finest.

Whaaa-BOOM!

 
That heavy thud you just heard was the door slamming shut on the World Championship aspirations of 43 of the top 44 WCT surfers. Kelly Slater is the slammer, now standing alone on one side of the door—World Champ for the 9th time—and 43 very talented but very frustrated surfers are on the other, probably muttering in disbelief "How can anyone be that good?"

With today's Round 3 heat victory at the Billabong Pro in Spain, Slater locked up enough points for World Title Number 9, a feat so unique and seemingly impossible, that his rivals don't know whether to drench him in beer or drown him in the shorebreak. As his performances this season have illustrated, he is still, at age 36, a competitive juggernaut. Overstatement? Hardly. The numbers draw a complete picture.

• Legendary WCT surfers Martin Potter, Occy, and Sunny Garcia have only managed one World Title each in their respective and celebrated careers. 
• Slater claimed his first crown in 1992, his sophomore year on tour, at age 20. He was the youngest ever to win the title.
• He skipped a beat in '93, then stacked up an incredible five in a row, from '94 to '98. Had he stopped there, the 'Greatest Surfer In History' hallmark was already upon him.
• He enjoyed semi-retirement from '99 to '02 and dated supermodels, while the rest of the WCT exhaled in relief and scrambled to fill the void.
• Slater rejoined the tour in '03, during Andy Irons ascension to 3X champ, and reasserted himself as king with his 7th and 8th titles in '05 and '06. 
• His 7th title in '05 made him the youngest AND oldest surfer (at age 34) to win a World Championship.
• He holds more individual event titles (39) and has earned more prize money—over $1.7 million written out on big, cardboard checks—than any other surfer in history.
• He has surpassed every competitive landmark formerly held by Tom Curren (3X World Champ and the previous 'Greatest Surfer Of All Time'). 
• In 14 years on tour, he has never finished a season ranked lower than 6th in the world.
• He is also the record 5 time Pipeline Masters Champion, with wins in '92 '94 '95 '96, and '99, and 2X Triple Crown Champion.
• In 2008, he has claimed a staggering 5 event titles and the crown. He is currently the second oldest surfer on tour. 

The names he is often likened to tell a story as well: Roger Federer. Tony Hawk. Tiger Woods. Michael Jordan. Lance Armstrong. 

Kelly Slater. The King. Again.

Last thing... rumor has it that if he can manage a 10th title, Quiksilver will bonus him $10 million. 

Have a rice day

October 1st is 'Sake Day' in San Francisco, and enthusiasts are hanging out at Fort Mason to sip and savor. SF's True Sake is the sponsor and if you can't make it to the event this evening, you can always go by the store in Hayes Valley at your leisure. There you'll find the best selection of sakes on the West Coast and friendly advice. Kampai!