Congratulations on all your "support"

Someone asked me recently—via facebook—"isn't picking on Sarah Palin getting a little old?" Technically, the answer is yes, it is getting old. But so is having to hear her, look at her, and consider the prospect, however remote, that she might weasel her way back into the American political machine. And with her recent book release, she continues to assert that she is somehow relevant, and so I'm compelled to continue to insist that, NO, she is not. But yeah, lets move on from Sarah and instead—here comes a fun diversion—lets pick on her supporters.

And actually, we're not really picking on them. At a recent book signing at a Borders in Columbus, Ohio, they are pretty much just embarrassing themselves. We're just going to witness the witlessness. Disclaimer: this video is about 8 minutes long, and it is painful to watch. If you just can't give up a few minutes to marvel at these comments, I've covered a few highlights for you below. Um... enjoy?

"She's like... a rock star..."

"Fairness, realness... I can't think of policies right off the bat."

(when asked what policies she would like to see Palin bring to office)

"The state that she did govern was right across the street from Russia..."

"We do need to have profiling. We're Americans. We're first, other people are last."

(incoherent babbling)

Crying shame

What am I going to write that isn't already said by the photo?

Random: Rock

By 1978, Saturday Night Live was starting to hit a nice stride in terms of it’s hosts, edgy comedy and musical guests. With staple acts like Bonnie Rait, Billy Joel and the Rolling Stones, ratings were good and no big risks were being taken. That changed on October 14th when DEVO took the stage in studio 8H. Nobody expected a gang of nerds outfitted in yellow vinyl jumpsuits and 3D glasses. Certainly nobody guessed that they would jerk and twitch their way through a brilliant—albeit unusual—new wave cover of the Stone’s (Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. I distinctly remember trying to process and categorize the mesmerizing performance with my adolescent grasp of pop music... and coming up blank. But I knew I liked it. Push play >>

Run Sal Run!

My friend and ESPN/X-Games personality Sal Masakela is doing a big and good thing by running in the NYC marathon on November 1st—raising money for his charity Stoked, which helps at risk youth through action sports and focused mentoring. Sal is a great guy with a ton of positive energy and I can almost see the smiles this will put on the faces of a lot of kids. It's easy to make a donation... click here.

Sal has the hard part. His goal: one hundred thousand dollars. Your contribution: as little as five bucks, or as much as you want. There's a convenient PayPal link and if you already have a PP account, you're only two clicks away from being a hero. As we enter the dual season of giving thanks and giving gifts, this is a great way to put you in the mood. Do it for the kids!

Sun sets on '09 race season

One last trip around Carmel Bay with Jones on Sunday afternoon, and now the boards are bagged and tarped just in time for the first big rain of winter, scheduled for... tonight. Paddleboard season is OVER. It was a great race season, best ever. The highlights...

~ The Jay Moriarity Race in Santa Cruz, 12 miles, always a good scene with the SC bros

~ The 1st Annual Dolphin Race in Carmel, 9 miles... and now we have our own race scene

~ Crossing the Carmel Bay Marine Canyon with the boys and champ Kanesa Duncan

~ Paddling out to Point Lobos with whales and orcas in view

~ The Fall Classic, my first 22 miler, AND breaking it in under 5 hours... barely

Couldn't have done it without Mike Jones, best training partner ever. And couldn't have done it without Marie Muscolino, best support team/girlfriend ever.

Going AWAY

You heard the media buzz; you heard the banter in the office or perhaps on the train to work, but did you really think it would come to fruition? Yeah, me neither. But like any completely forgettable low budget horror film, it will... much sooner than anyone thought, on November 17th, to be exact. Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue (more on that ridiculous title later) is getting fast-tracked for pre-Christmas release, apparently because her publishers woke up and realized that her pond of quickly evaporating relevance will be completely Death Valley bone dry by spring of 2010, the original release window. Oh, and also because it turns out that it didn't take nearly as long for her to "write" the 4oo+ pages as everyone thought it would. Of course, she had a ghost writer, and she quit her job, and doesn't really spend any time with her kids, so—lucky day—it was actually a breeze! You betcha!

Yep, fire up the presses and get the first (and likely, only) 1.5 million copies on the shelves, while Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace still have jobs and can drive sales for her. "What? The title sucks? We know the title sucks! But there's no time, I tell you, NO TIME to think of a better one. Print it now! NOW!" you can imagine her publisher and agent screaming in unison.

The word 'rogue' has no positive connotations, anywhere, and this is most obvious in the dictionary; 1. dishonest or unprincipled; 2. savage or destructive tendencies; 3. inferior or defective specimen. When used to describe waves at sea, the word rogue is an obvious and ominous negative. Only in the crippled and gasping GOP, where a babbling redneck cheerleader somehow becomes a political ripple, does the word rogue seem to hold some invisible promise. Oh sure, these 1.5 million copies will be purchased, no question; they will be purchased by the 1.5 million Americans who are under the impression that Palin has anything worthwhile to say, and they will all likely be autographed by Sarah herself, since she has absolutely nothing else to do or anywhere to go. And by springtime of next year, when all the overprint copies are in the get-the-hell-out-now $1.99 bin at the bookstore, Sarah will have finally GONE AWAY.

What... no flames?

With snowboard season just around the corner, I took a quick peek at some closeout websites where you can often score decent brand name gear for dimes on the dollar. I don't get to ride enough anymore to justify paying MSRPs for an annual outfitting and new quiver of boards—sadly, those days are over. But if I save a few bucks on boots, jacket and goggles, then I'll feel better about dropping real money on a new board.

Unless, of course, the boots are THESE hideous slush kickers...

I don't care what they cost—$82, instead of MSRP $200—I mean, come on... neon pink and blue with CAMO?! Why not just put some red flames on there as well, and maybe some reflective piping, so everyone can see your atrocious fashion sense at night?

These, apparently, were Jeremy Jones' idea. I know he's a freestyle icon and all that, but that doesn't mean he should get to shove around Burton's well paid product designers. It should be somebody's job to say "Um, no Jeremy, bro, those are UGG-LEE, and will undoubtedly end up—like like a Sarah Palin book—on a closeout website for an embarrassingly low price, sorry." Shouldn't it? Yes, it should. And that goes for his pro model boards too, which are also too stupid looking to purchase. Ever. At any price.

Every Boy

Maybe you like Jack Johnson. Maybe you like Donovan Frankenreiter. Maybe you don't, because the mellow/acoustic soulful surfer sound—while very enjoyable—is a little overplayed on the radio, or because it all just starts to sound a little too similar. That's okay... here is a solution.

Every Boy rubs a pleasant West Coast vibe with a little East Coast grit for a fresh, unique sound that makes you (me) smile. New York singer/songwriter Bruce Nathan pulled in some very talented musicians—from bands you've heard of—to back him on his freshman effort, and it's a polished affair full of good sounds and thoughtful words. It just released on iTunes today, and I recommend you get your iPod a little present. If you need to sample a few tracks first, click here. Enjoy.

Random observations

... about NYC, US Open, tennis & transportation.

~ The US Open is an amazing, high quality pro sports experience... as long as you're not too pinched by $7 hot dogs and the surly people that make and sell them.

~ When you can get a stadium packed with 23,000 tennis fans, PLUS Jack Nicholson, Lorne Michaels, Will Farrel, Gwen Stefani, Paul Simon, Bill Clinton and Stanley Tucci, something good is going on.

~ New York City is a tennis city and New Yorkers love tennis, and so the energy is high. The US Open belongs in New York.

~ (Some) NYC cab drivers are straight-up crazy, and won't hesitate to put your life in danger. And they still expect a tip.

~ NYC is a town that understands subways and public transportation. Bay Area/BART: take notes, get a clue... DO SOMETHING, you're an embarrassment to the paradigm of rail transit.

~ NYC is a town that understands cuisine. Just as easily as—and probably better than—dropping a fortune in the best French bistros in town, you can walk into a random pasta joint in Little Italy and ask for 2 Peronis and a plate of grilled anchovies that aren't on the menu. They don't even think about it: the answer is YES. (That was Holden's idea... brilliant.)

~ Virgin America is the newest cool/coolest new airline, and ordering drinks at will from the digital touch-screen on the seat-back is a feature I like. But don't expect the high speed internet to be fast.

~ Live, professional tennis is thing of great beauty, intensity, motion and emotion.

~ Six-foot-nine John Isner is a giant AND a giant killer. With towering serves and a cool head, he took down Andy Rodddick and cemented his status as the up-and-coming men's young gun.

~ Melanie Oudin may have been dismissed in the quarterfinals, but her run through the Open was the most exciting thing in women's tennis in a decade. And yes, I mean more exciting that Kim Clijster's return and surprise win, and certainly more interesting than a Sarena Williams meltdown. Melanie Oudin is the FUTURE of women's tennis in the US.

~ Roger Federer is unbeatable. His general perfect-ness and The Miracle Shot against Novak Djokovic in the semifinal proves that his game is more complex, developed and polished than any player in history.

~ Roger Feberer CAN be beaten, as proven by Juan Martin del Potro, who showed us that the impossible is possible by winning the five-set mens final and claiming his first Grand Slam title. Expect more.

A STAR IS BORN

Not since 17 year old Venus Williams stormed into the '99 US Open

and fought her way to her first Grand Slam final has women's tennis

seen a supernova like Melanie Oudin ('oo-DAN') illuminate the sky

above The US Open in Flushing Meadows, New York.

Her electrifying Round 4 victory today is merely the latest in a series

of dismissals of top Russian women. In order, she beat up on world

#4 Elena Dementieva, Maria Sharapova (#29) and today #13 Nadia

Petrova. In all of those matches, she lost the first set, only to come

back stronger and tougher to take the remaining two. And in all of

those matches, her competitors stumbled off the court, burnt out and

baffled at how their game fell apart.

Does she have the fuel and fire it takes to fight through the quarters and semis to reach the final?

BELIEVE IT.

The custom-made Adidas sneaks that Oudin wears say 'believe' on the heel.

FALL

There are two ways to know that Fall—which is actually our summer—has arrived on the Monterey Peninsula. First, and most important, cool grey skies and fog have been replaced by morning sunshine and a warm, off-shore breeze. Double down on that with some weekend West swell and the promise of high quality surf, and voila! ... summertime blues are dead and buried.

And second—which is actually fifth—the Monterey Bay Aquarium has put another Great White shark on display. As of this morning, No. 5 is cruising the million gallon Outer Bay exhibit, and you might be able to catch a glimpse of her here.

The first white shark ever displayed in captivity made her public appearance at the MBAQ in August of '04 and, with the exception of '05, each year since has seen a new one, always in August.

Wait... actually, there's one more way to know that Fall has arrived. Today is Jackie Sanders birthday. HBD Jackie!

BLUE

Where else but Lake Tahoe can you find this shade of blue? That's right... nowhere.

Wish you were here?

Yeah, me neither. And so, with Category 2 Hurricane Bill—soon to be Cat. 3, probably today—bearing down on the Caribbean, Marie and I opted out of our tropical vacation plans and successfully avoided 111 mph winds and whatever they are throwing around the skies near St. Martin.... which is almost directly in the path that spinning monster.

The Dolphin Race

Racers ready... heading out...

Last Sunday's Dolphin Race—the first of its kind in Carmel—went off about as smoothly as could be expected. Considering that the event organizers (Brian Mullen, Mike Jones, Brent Allen, myself and a few others) threw the whole thing together in only six weeks, and that the sunny/clear conditions we hoped for were replaced by fog, low visibility and unruly swell out in the open ocean, it's slightly amazing that nothing went seriously wrong. Looks like a good time was had by all, and we expect next year's event to double in size. Congratulations to all who raced and huge thanks to everyone who helped.

Jarrett Winter, 1st Unlimited Class, and 1st Overall

Brian Spear, 1st Stock Class

Joe Beek, 2nd Stock Class

Brian Mullen, 1st 14' Class

Mike Jones, 2nd 14' Class

Noelle Mosolf, 1st Womens Class (2 Mile Race)

Josh Pederson, 2nd Unlimited Class

Me, el Mikexican, yo... 3rd Unlimited Class

Tired and stoked.

In my backyard

This Sunday, August 9th, I will finally be racing the paddleboard at my own beach, in my own backyard. Well, in the Ocean, technically, but you know... it's my piece of Ocean. Instead of getting up pre-dawn and driving an hour or more, while the coffee attempts to kill the butterflies in my gut, I'll simply roll out of bed and roll down the road, through Pebble to Carmel. I'm looking forward to getting to the beach early, checking out the conditions, checking out the state of the kelp beds and plotting my course for maximum efficiency from a variety of elevated vantage points—the home course advantage. The gun goes off at 8am.

Further evidence...

... that Sayulita—despite being known as a mushy beginner's surf break—is home to some of the best damn surfers in all of Mexico. The September issue is on stands now, and sports homey Diego Cadena on the cover, getting SHACKED at a very sexy looking right hander. The bar at El Tigre is going off tonight.

Heaven and Hell

One of the reasons I bother to drive, semi regularly, all the way up to Lake Tahoe with the paddleboard is the promise of beautiful blue miles of sheet glass. Combined with a warm, sunny day, the often-perfect conditions make paddling on that lake a heavenly experience. But it's not a given.

On Sunday, the 2nd Annual 'Jam to the Dam' paddleboard race brought another opportunity to paddle in heaven, but Wind—the evil one—had other ideas. Thirty mph headwinds and whitecaps make paddling a sort of hell. It was worse on the SUPers, but overall, a lot of the racers struggled with the unruly conditions. And I'm not sure how to feel about this, but I think I found out that I do pretty well in Hell.

80 racers

66 finishers

30 mph headwinds

Multiple Coast guard rescues

I took 8th overall and 3rd in the men's unlimited division.

Gifts from strangers

Your mom told you not to accept them, and that advice is even more relevant today. But once you're an adult, anything goes, right? Well, maybe. 

I've been listening to Radio Paradise on iTunes Radio for a few years now and it's a really good, eclectic (hate that overused word) mix of fun stuff. I kept hearing a song by Seconds Flat called 'Dance On My Grave' and I liked it more and more each time. But it's not available anywhere; not on iTunes, not in music stores, and not even on unnamed p2p databases. I posted a comment on RP's website that I wanted to find it. 

Fast forward 6 months (and several emails) and here it is in my po box, a 9 song CD including 'Dance On My Grave'. Some random cool person in South Carolina—who knows some of the band members—tracked down a copy for me and just mailed it. For free. Thanks to Ed Price of Greenville, SC. Thanks to music lovers everywhere. Thanks Universe. 

Jay Race kicks my butt

  

Lack of proper training? Check.

Fondness of beer and other adult beverages? Check.

Questionable diet, 20 pounds overweight? Check, check.

Ok then, how about a 12 mile paddleboard race against a pack of fit surfer/athletes? Okay.

Such are my circumstances... but I'd completed the 'Jay' twice before and despite my mediocre result on Saturday—49th of about 90 competitors—I'm always stoked to cross the finish line, feel exhausted, and ache all over. The Surftech Jay Moriarity Memorial is not just a race; it's a celebration of an amazing young waterman who left the lineup too soon, but left behind a legacy of enthusiasm, fitness, and stoke. He charged Mavericks as a 16 year old and survived horrendous wipeouts. He paddled from Santa Cruz to Monterey, 26 long miles over deep, deep water. And he inspired everyone who knew him by being in the ocean all the time, and being stoked all the time. The mantra of the race is an inspiration to all of us who love the Ocean: Live Like Jay.

  

The Jay Race, the Jay LIFE

Jay Moriarity was a gifted young Santa Cruz surfer and waterman on his way to legend status in his early twenties, when he tragically passed away in a diving accident. This Saturday is the 8th annual 'Jay Race' ... a 12 mile paddleboard race that honors Jay, and draws competitors from as far away as Australia. 

For me—and for many of the racers, I suspect—it's not about winning, but rather it's about remembering Jay (if you were lucky enough to know him) or about embracing the Jay spirit. That is... sharing the stoke, sharing some waves, and above all, loving being in the Ocean. The spectating is not great, but the scene is good overall. From New Brighton Beach you get to see the start of the race (8:30am) and a little under two hours later see the fastest paddlers return to the same beach. And about 40 minutes after that, I hope to be crossing the line. I also hope there will be cold Pacificos. 

The Wagon

Last night at around 9:30 I drank my last frosty margarita in celebration of another season in Mexico completed. And as of today, I am officially on the wagon until around 10:45am on June 13th, when I hope to be crossing the finish line at the annual Jay Moriarity Paddleboard Race in Santa Cruz. The Jay is not too punishing, but is not exactly pleasant either. It's 12 miles of mostly glassy water, but often comes with side orders of thick fog, thick kelp, and thick marine life. I have done virtually no training, but I've got 2 weeks and a brand new 19' board to pull it together. That is going to be one delicious, ice cold Pacifico. I can almost taste it.

Round, green and perfect

I had a dream where I was trying to convince someone of the great value of something by declaring that it was "round, green and perfect." I was certain of these attributes, but I can't remember what it was. Here are some possibilities...

 

 

 

Open for business

Like the open face of a clean, green chest high wave waiting for a customer to come racing down the line, Mexico too, is open for business and hopes you will stop by. H1N1 virus? It's pretty much over, but not forgotten. The effects—both positive and negative—of mainstream media linger. Lets focus on the positive. 

In my little corner of Mexico, the normally crowded beach and lively town is PDQ... pretty damn quiet. It's a very pleasant change to paddle out to small, clean waves and wonder where the crowd went—instead of how to Jedi-mind-trick it, or slalom through it. Restaurants are open and getting the best table with a view of the surf break or town square is a given. Flights? Empty and cheap. Beer? Cold, as usual. 

You still reading?