Got original idea?

Good: Craft an award winning advertising campaign from two words so concise yet powerful and effective that people will still wear it on t-shirts and other consumer goods 15 years after it's inception—people who don't even necessarily use the product (milk). 

Bad: Everybody knocks off your campaign for all eternity, to sell everything from beer to PETA memberships to plumbing services. And there's no end in sight. Got originality? Apparently not.

15 minutes of internet fame

One of my favorite websites—the ocean endurance community hub paddleboard.com—just lost most of it's credibility by featuring some kook as it's featured 'paddler of the week'. Has it really come to this? I guess it has. Everybody can switch to SUPs now.

I got your top ten right here

Forbes—the magazine dedicated to making sure we all know exactly how little we have compared to Wall Street slugs and ridiculously overpaid bank CEOs—has just released it's annual Ten Most Miserable Cities in the US report. Wow. Thanks. This list is so very important, so relevant and just in time for suicide season! Just in case anyone living in Stockton(#1) or Modesto CA, or Flint MI, or Cleveland OH was out on the ledge of a tall, ugly, condemned building (but not a skyscraper, because those cities aren't cool enough to have glamourous skyscrapers) wondering whether to jump and forever escape the intolerable pain of their floundering 401Ks and upside down mortgages and bratty kids, well... Forbes is whispering in your ear "do it." Because your town sucks. Look, here's all the reasons why it sucks so much. Jump!

So, Stockton had no problem securing the #1 spot... the official Worst Place in America. The best place, apparently, to lose your job, to lose your house, to start drinking heavily, to kick your neighbor's dog when he's not looking. Hey, I get it. I lived there for about 20 years, and I complained about it. And I moved away. And I'm not going back. But does anyone really need Forbes to tazer them when they're already down? Do the uber-wealthy really need printed assurance that every person in the combined populations of those ten cities is jealous of them, their private jet, their posh country club, and their vacation home(s) on the manicured fringe of Heaven? No.

So, how about this? How about MY list... my list of the Ten Things I Enjoyed Most About Growing Up In Stockton; a celebration of the simple things that might (probably) matter the most.

1. You could ride your bike all over town.

2. There were about 27 places to go swimming; neighborhood pools, back yard pools, The Delta, relatively clean lakes and trout-producing rivers. We swam every day.

3. We played golf every Sunday. 

4. Genova Bakery, my grandfather's bakery... a historic landmark, producer of the best simple French bread in Northern California.

5. My grandmother, producer of the best Italian food in my world. To this day, the best.

6. Mom taking me to hang out with my dad at the fire station.

7. My first girlfriend, Susan.

8. My best friend, Tom.

9. Fresh produce.

10. Good Mexican food.

11. Some really decent Mexicans.

There, that's eleven. Top ten THIS, Forbes bitches.

Beneath the Monterey Bay Part 3: Wired Science

 

Who knows what bizarre things are going on at 3000 feet below sea level? Well, have a look. The Monterey Bay Aquarium and associates scored another first recently by installing the world's first deep sea webcam—via robotic submarine—on the floor of the Monterey Bay. This article and video from Wired document the installation procedure. Also, I always enjoy checking out the live Outer Bay cam at MBAQ. See that big disc of a prehistoric-looking fish cruise past? It's a Pacific Sunfish. Weird and beautiful.

How to cure an earache in the digital age

It's a Saturday night in February 2009 in a little party town in Mexico, and a nagging earache is keeping me from heading out with my co-workers. So I'm entertaining myself by cruising iTunes, when I come across vintage episodes of Saturday Night Live. I picked one randomly and downloaded. They're only a $1.99 and it's worth that much just to see John Belushi crunch his eyebrows.

In 1979 SNL had become the coolest show on late-night tv—and maybe all of television—with the one-two punch of the 'Not Ready For Prime Time Players' and cutting edge music acts. On Feb. 10th—almost exactly 30 years ago—the Talking Heads took the stage at 30 Rockefeller and did Take Me To The River. And I remember watching it when I was a kid and thinking "that dude has a weird voice" but liked it anyway. (And voila, my earache is gone.)

Beneath the Monterey Bay: Part 2

Another short underwater video, cruising the kelp bed off Cypress Point/Pebble Beach, shot the same day as Part 1. BUT, this one is in high-res on Vimeo. I'm amazed at the clarity and quality of these little clips made with very portable, user friendly electronics. Not impressed with my little experiment? Stay tuned for Part 3 to see what the real sea-nerds have been up to. Oh just wait and see.

Does this look fast?

          
After 5 years and 500 miles (more or less) on my purchased-used teal green Craig Richmond paddleboard, I'm pulling the trigger on a sleek, new, custom made board. The size (18'10"), specs and features are already chosen. But now, the important question: what color(s) should it be? It's going to have a carbon fiber bottom, and I'm leaning toward dual grey and white pinstripes, going up to an orange deck. But lime and cyan made the final three. I think this scheme looks fast, and kinda progressive. Click the 'comment' link below to cast your vote.

Beneath the Monterey Bay: Part 1

In addition to high quality surf, expansive views and expensive golf, the Monterey Bay Marine Sanctuary is famous for it's stunning coastline and abundance of marine life. January gave us a solid week of pumping waves and perfect, fall-like weather. The swell eventually faded, but the weather remained, so I took the paddleboard out of winter storage and spent Saturday morning cruising Cypress Point with Mike Jones. The underwater visibility was incredible and I had my Powershot in a water housing. Click play to dive.

Brrrraaaaaaappppp!!

 

Not all weekend was underwater scenery and serenity. Just to keep things in balance, I met up with Magoo & Crew, Andy and Holden on Saturday night for the San Francisco Supercross at AT&T Park. Complete with the world's best SX racers, all the extreme energy beverages you can stomach—and yes, explosions—it was a dirt-spittin' noisy good time. Thanks for the tickets Magoo. Good to see ya, fellas.